magical stardust ☺
J.
"an attempt to make sense of and articulate the thoughts running through my head."
♥ bold italic strikeout underline♡
TAGBOARD.
PEEKTURES.
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Gender Discrimmination
Disclaimer: huge rant ahead. Skip this post if you're looking for a cheerful one.
"if you wanna come home after 12mn, need to call and ask permission."
wtf, seriously.. After almost 2 years, you suddenly tell me that I can't come home late anymore. Best part is that I'm almost going to turn 21. In 7 freaking months. Oh, for goodness sake. Why only now? If you had set this rule in place after my A Levels, I wouldn't have anything to complain about. But no, you let me come home late (occasionally) and only ask daddy to say smth if it's too often and too late. And all of a sudden, you drop this huge bombshell.
Later on, you say that I can't put my breakfast cereal in the kitchen cabinet cause I have a food box in my room.
me: if you say I'm not a tenant, why can't I put my things in the kitchen?
her: tenants pay people to clean their room (or smth along those lines of tenants not requiring her to clean the room). if you're not a tenant then you wash clothing yourself lah. at this age already, I'm still helping you do everything. and you don't lift a finger in the house.
me: kor kor also what.
her: your brother's a boy, different.
GENDER DISCRIMINATION AT ITS PEAK.
Come on, he's freaking 4 years older than me, and I iron my own clothes. You do every single thing for him and you have the cheek to tell me that at my age i'm supposed to do my own things?! Okay maybe I'd agree if he's of the same age as me. But no, he's 4 years older than me. So what, you'll do everything for him until he moves out while I have to start doing my own laundry?
And why are you telling me all these shit only when daddy isn't home? Seriously. All along, the issue of me coming home late was dealt by him. With your instigation, of course. But now he didn't say a single word. Nothing at all, mind you. Even though I always overhear you telling him what time I reached home and asking him to say smth.
So what, you're in charge now? Seriously..
Labels: freak; but thats life, rants.
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Mixed emotions.
Mixed emotions today.
1. Happy
Somehow, seeing all the other Sociology majors in SOC 293 today made me happy. In some sense, I was glad to be back in school. All these people never fail to make my day.
2. Joy
Realizing that your tutees actually look forward to lessons and their crazy childish acts really warms my heart. And the fact that they stood outside their door and waved until I entered the lift really lifted my spirits.
3. Annoyed
Seriously, what's with your attitude? Maybe I'm guilty of not putting in my 100%. But these things you say and do really put me off y'know. If you think these will make me give my 100%, I'm sorry. They only serve to reduce to percentage.
4. Confused
Are we just finding excuses? It's starting to appear like that to me. I know I was, but I was genuinely surprised that you appeared to be doing the same thing. Or maybe I'm just putting too much thought into this.
5. Relieved
Thanks for being honest. Or was it actually a slip of the tongue?
6. Tired
My readings have to wait. The SOC 293 readings were enough to convince me to shut the book and take a shower. And I was only on the first column of the first page.
7. Excitement
Looking forward to the 21st tmr! Although its a casual gathering without any cake, I'm still pretty excited at the prospect of meeting the ODACians again :)
And I'm still the queen of procrastination. Started typing this post around 1:30am, and I left the tab open. It's now 3:18am and I'm still awake. Labels: it takes two hands to clap., penny for thought., rants., UB.
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Behind this facade of mine.
Maybe I just don't show it. I guess to a large extent, I'm good at masking my true feelings. I don't pour out my deepest darkest thoughts to everyone who asks. Maybe that's why some people say I rank my friends. Subconsciously of course. Yes, when my friends ask me how I am, I tell them the truth. But not everyone gets to hear the nitty gritty details, all the pain and anguish masked by my constant happy and cheerful disposition. Just like how some people cannot appreciate nature, not everyone can see through my facade. Sidenote, I miss seeing familiar faces everyday. Yes, I still do now. But it's just one in (maybe) hundred? Gone were the days where I recognized almost everyone I saw; the days when warm smiles and hugs greeted me all around school.
Okay, don't misinterpret my rantings and conclude that I don't adapt well to changes. I am fine and well where I currently am, just that I miss the past. Yes, I've long accepted the fact that no matter what, things will not go back to how they were back in 2009 and 2010. The last time I checked, it wasn't a crime to miss a particular period of your life.
Last day before school reopens. Can't remember when was the last time I actually dreaded going back to school (for reasons other than undone holiday homework), if there even was such an occasion.
Summer 2012, please be good to me. I need to pull up my GPA. Labels: penny for thought., rants., SR memories., UB.
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'Cause we're all fundamentally flawed.
Craving for this again. Yes, it gets uber gelat towards the end but it's still freaking niceeeeeeee.
Round 2 in one month's time when Mr. SoldierBoy returns from Brunei!
When I'm really bored, I blog-hop. And I received my answer. Okay not like it bothers me. I'm not the sort of people who needs to tick off a long check-list before deciding if someone can become my friend. But in any case, I'm okay with that. Cause I'm grateful that people accept my flaws so the least I can do is to return the favour to someone else. And I don't really think that is unacceptable, to be honest. It isn't what I'd consider a flaw actually.
P.S you-who-shall-not-be-named, if you even know that my blog exists and if you're reading this, I'm not judging you.
I honestly think that working has opened up my eyes to the different types of people there are in society, and the realization that in spite of it all, these people are still really nice people. Still don't get why people are so judgmental. How are y'all gonna survive in the working world, seriously? You'll meet all sorts of Tom, Dick and Harry. Start judging and eliminating people from your social circle and you'll soon find yourself eating lunch alone. Okay maybe its a lil too extreme but yeah, you get my drift.
One more week before school starts. Am I prepared? Far from it. Oh and my dad asked why I haven't been telling him my grades. Stalled for time and said that not all the results are out yet. Which is partially true. But shuckssssss. I know the damn cui modules are those that are non-related to my major but STILLLLLLL.
Anyway, uTorrent is acting like some bitch right now. I cancelled the download cause it was taking damn long and affecting my Internet in the process. Guess what, it has been in 'quitting' mode for the past 3 hours. The hell. I predict it'll remain in this state until I shut my Mac down later. Labels: freak; but thats life, rants.
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Acceptance.
Why are some people just so prejudiced and judgmental towards these people? It isn't as though they have an additional leg or eye or smth. Okay, have to admit that I was a little skeptical too back in 2010. But after a while, I came to the realization that they are just ordinary people, just like you and me. They need air, food and water to survive. Kinda irks me when people's reaction change totally when they know about it. Come on, be more sensitive will you. Y'all don't have to shun them as though these people have some terminal illness whatsoever. The fact is, we kinda have to applaud these people for their courage to openly declare their stance even with the foresight that people will start treating them differently. Come to think of it, one plausible reason why they've come out of the closet is that they want the world to realize that this doesn't make them any different from some random person on the street. If we start to discriminate and shun them, won't it force them back into their little shell? If they're brave enough to admit it, can we please be brave enough to embrace their differences and accept them for who they are? Perhaps it's just because we live in a generally more conservative society with Chinese roots. Another misconception: this person does this and that. Oh, they're dangerous, you shouldn't hang out with them ._. the hell, seriously. Just because the way this person lives his/her life differently from our ideals doesn't make them dangerous. Just because this person indulges in activities you don't doesn't mean that the both of you cannot hang out as friends. *face palm* No but seriously, we are waaaaaay too conservative. Or maybe I'm so accepting because I have been around these 2 groups of people. Don't mean to sound like a bitch, but one thing I cannot stand is the act of judging others without even taking the effort to step into their shoes and look at the world from their perspective. I start to feel for these groups of people. Maybe they're what we'd consider to be social deviants. If y'all forgot, deviance refers to the act of behaving differently from socially accepted norms/standards. No one ever said that acts of deviance are crimes. One man's meat is another man's poison. What is considered deviant in one society might be the norm in another. So seriously, stop judging. And. Hanging out with these people does not make you one too. Unless you have a weak will-power and cannot stay true to your own values. If that is the case, I'm sorry, you only have yourself to blame for succumbing to peer pressure. To hell with all these nonsensical assumptions, seriously. Labels: freak; but thats life, rants.
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Change.
disclaimer:
(i) if you're someone who cannot stand not knowing what is going on after listening to bits and pieces of something, please skip this post. Unless you're confident that I will tell you what is going on here.
(ii) written after a long day, please pardon the sentence structure or whatever. shall proof read this again when I'm in a better state of mind.
Ranted to J after feeling uber vexed, and she shot this question back at me: what are you going to do if the answer is yes? I thought for a while, and realized that no matter what, I have to accept the person and not judge cause we're free to live as we please. Yes, there're morals and all to abide by but seriously, no one is perfect. We can't go around imposing our opinions on how we should lead our lives on other people, unless we are leading a perfect life. Then again, this idea of perfect is pretty much subjective. One person's definition of perfect might be someone else's definition of immoral. If I'm not a saint, how can I expect someone else to be a saint? I have no right to expect people to live up to my standards. Trust me, I am speaking from experience. It is downright annoying when someone expects you to live according to their standards and expectations. Having someone dictate your life is nothing short of being a pain in the ass, especially when their set of ideals is vastly different from yours.
Okay to be honest, I really don't care. I mean, it's your life, not mine. Yes, it's natural to be concerned but if the tables were turned, I wouldn't like it if someone comes into my life and expects me to change just to live up to their ideals. If it's for the better, I might. But in this instance, I really don't see the point. It's not as if we cannot be friends in this current situation. I wouldn't feel too good in the other person's shoes and quite frankly, I might say that I'd rather give up this friendship than change myself just for the sake of this friendship.
I have come to the realization that it is possible for two people with different ideals and perceptions of fun to get along very well. But this time, I'm gonna take the backseat. I'm tired of being the constant instigator. I need to see proof that you want this to take flight. Else, I'm sorry. I really dislike being the one to make the first move. Like I said earlier, I somehow wind up feeling like I'm being annoying.
And I have come to realize the importance of quality over quantity. I really don't see the point of being a clique just for name's sake. Y'all were once very important to me. But the series of events that have occurred over the past 4 years have led me to conclude that I wouldn't want to waste my time on people who aren't really interested. I don't like the idea of meeting up, acting like the best of friends, before forgetting all about the friendship until the next meet up. What is the use of such superficiality? This has really been an eye-opener. I'm also not an ardern fan of mass meetups. Yes, you still get to see everyone and have fun. But the essence of a true friendship is sucked out in the process.
Then again, maybe different people have different opinions on an ideal friendship. Who am I to judge and impose my ideas on others?
Honestly, I'm really thankful for the people who have stuck with me through thick and thin. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Labels: freak; but thats life, it takes two hands to clap., rants.
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Ridiculousness at its peak.
She doesn't buy me food, so I need to settle all my meals on my own. When I buy food, she complains I'm taking up space in her fridge.
WHERE IS THE LOGIC?!
It's at times like these that I'm more determined to go for Summer Abroad/UB Bound. At least I get to spend time away from home.
There is a limit to my patience y'know. Labels: rants.
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perfection.
#1. superduperultramega picky
#2. perfectionist
Viewed seventeen thousand blogskins, customized seventeen hundred blogskins, found faults with all seventeen hundred of them. And I came to the above 2 conclusions about myself.
Took me seventeen thousand brain cells to finally edit this blogskin to my level of perfection; cause I figured that I'd prolly never find a perfect one unless I edit one to include the lacking features.
Right now, I'm proud of myself. *beams*
Labels: rants.
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flow.
It seems like everyone's coming back one by one. Why?!
First A, then B. And C too omg. Okay all along I didnt think about C. But the text sounded freaking weird. And wrong.
Gosh.
I guess you should retract what you said earlier on. Those who REALLY know me'll disagree with you.
Urgh okay I need to sleep now so goodnight.Labels: i'll never be able to fully comprehend., rants.
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out.
Thanks for spoiling my mood.
I'm glad I told you the reason why I'm seldom at home. Do something about it please.
I feel like unleashing a whole long string of swear words.
Fine, everything I say in response to you is termed as an argument.
Suit yourself la okay. Idgad.
I asked only cause you'll always tell him if you find his stuff in his pockets. You didn't tell me, so why is it wrong to ask you? You're already obviously biased here, don't give yourself away further please.
Just know that I have a reason for doing the things I do.
If you think I'm just doing things blindly or what, whatever.
Okay I know I'm in the wrong, I'm not shirking the blame.
I've already said this is a one time off incident. Twice in a row cause I used the same bag and i just put it in my pocket out of convenience. Don't you ever get it?
Actually, I've learnt not to bother ensuring that people uds what I'm doing.
Its a waste of my breath to try to explain cause you'll find something else to use against me.
This's one of the greatest lessons you guys have taught me; not to let criticism put me down.
Stop claiming you know me well.
Cause. You don't.
I can throw you any question about my past 2 years of education, and I bet you can't answer any. Except for the obvious like class, subjects and my cca.Labels: rants.
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reality.
All of I sudden, I realized what I was missing out on. I guess I didn't realize it previously because I didn't realize how nice it was.
Honestly, I don't know what triggered the emotional outburst yesterday. All it took was a comment and a reply, and all of a sudden, I realized what I was missing out on.
The link btw both is very fine. I honestly have no idea what led to it. Flashbacks maybe?
Plus what happened yst. First time in at least 7 months, I kinda forgot how these times actually felt like.
I prolly felt okay cause there wasn't any basis for comparison previously. Last night, I came to a stark realization that there were actually other people who filled that void. Honestly, I didn't realize how close they were to actually being surrogates.
They encouraged, motivated, scolded, nagged and comforted. And they knew when I needed to see them when I was really down. It's just like what I envisioned almost everyone fulfilling the role would. I don't know why I didn't realize this earlier on. But last night, I was truly filled with immense gratitude.
Actually, I really wished the actual people would do the same. Aren't they kinda supposed to?
I guess I'm thankful. Thankful to the 2 of them; thankful to Him for finding me surrogates to walk me through that phase of my life when He knew the actual ones wouldn't.
Really, can you deny His awesomeness?
When I grow up, I promise this will not happen to my kids. Cross my heart and swear to die if I lie. I know how it feels like. And I know that it's prolly the last thing anyone wants to experience. Yup you won't really know the magnitude because you never experienced it. But when you look back and think of how things would actually be, you realize that boy, you're missing out on a hell lot of things. Love, warmth, care and concern: 4 important ingredients to get anyone through a tough period. And it wouldn't be complete without the input of the 2 most important people in our lives.
Sigh, as much as I'm grateful for the 2 of them, I can't help but wish that the originals fulfilled their role. I'm guessing my life would be way better than it is now. Even up till now, I can't stop the tears whenever I think about it. If there's smth I really hate in life, its this.
Oh wells.Labels: i'll never be able to fully comprehend., rants., thank you Lord (:
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change is constant.
We were talking that day, and Cheryl mentioned that we've all changed.
True that, we're no longer the same person as we were when we were back in Zhonghua.
While walking home with her, she stared at me for a while and said that I've changed alot. I look different now. Fringe, hair length, contacts etc. After some silence, she added, "I think you view friendship differently now."
In some sense, yeah.
I've met gazillions of people, and they've taught me alot.
I've met some who I didn't expect to stay in my life; but they surprised me by turning into fair and rainy friends.
I've met some who I thought will be in my life for long; but they proved me wrong.
I've met some who I thought were truly God-sent and will remain for eternity; but we ended up drifting further and further apart.
I've met some who I thought were just hi-bye friends; but they turned out to be people I could easily tell my secrets to.
I've met some who I thought were just hi-bye friends; but they turned out to be those who could tell when something was bothering me.
I've met some who I thought were just hi-bye friends; but they surprised me by walking me through my darkest moments.
I've met some who I was close to, then we drifted apart cause of stupid things and I thought that was it; but they turned out to be people I know I can open up to.
And of course, I've met some who I thought were awesome people; and they proved me correct (:
Let's just say that life is unexpected.
Back to the main point of this post.
Well. In my honest opinion, yes I feel that I've changed.
- I've toned down alot. If you're reading this and saying, "yeah right, she's still so hyper and all!", let me tell you that I was way worse in Secondary School.
- I have this tendancy to think too much. I read too deeply into things. Lets just say I've become way more sensitive.
- I've hardened up. I'm no longer the girl who will be nice to you even though you treat me like shit. I won't go up to you and slap you or anything like that, but rest assured that you cannot take me for granted. I learn.
- I'm not someone who's a pushover, I stand firm on my own two feet now.
- I'm no longer someone submissive, I won't do anything you ask me to, especially things that you're capable of doing yourself.
Maybe its just what happened during my 2 years in SR.
No, don't get me wrong. My 2 years were awesome. And its even more awesome due to the fact that I've matured. Just take it that.. Things happened, and they've changed me. To be a better person.
At the end of the day, I still miss the old me. The old happy-go-lucky me, the one who has a smile fixed on her face. Now? Sometimes I just have to stick a smile on my face, bite my teeth and carry on.Labels: rants.
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sanity.
Didn't run this morning (inserts big sad face) cause some Short Girl couldnt wake up! Second time alr, pfft!
Short Girl, if you're still up and you happen to read this; PLEASE PLEASE WAKE UP ON TIME TMR PLEASEEEEE.
Oh and idk why, I feel damn fat but I can feel my waist shrinking D:
Maybe it's just my imagination that it's shrinking.
Work sucked; picked up Inbound calls for more than 3 hours today cause there was some product training for everyone except the A Level kids like us. I must be the most fortunate girl on Earth today. I picked up 3 disputive calls CONSECUTIVLY, all demanding for a Manager CallBack.
Told my TLs my plight after they came back from their training and all who heard me started laughing. Really, got so suay or not?! It's suay enough to get one. Imagine 3, all back to back. Awesome shit. Bleah.
Dinner-ed and Udders-ed with 不可思议, walked back home with Cheryl afterwards. I the girls a lot :))))))
Sigh.
I hate how this feels right now. It's like I don't even know what's the matter.
Maybe sleeping it away will help.
Goodnight world, see you in 6 hours. Labels: rants.
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recycle bin.
I guess it's a good thing after all. Yup, we can never reach our destination if we aren't willing to lose sight of the shore.
But. A part of me wants them to be restored from the Recycle Bin or it's equivalent.
Just to look back at them one day and reminisce the good ol' days. After all, I'm a sentimental person.
Sigh.
Urgh okay I need to head to bed now, gonna run with Short Girl tmr! I feel uber fat now D: And I'm determined to make sure our run takes place tmr. In the event it doesn't, I'm making sure I'm
not the one responsible.
Meeting 不可思议 after my 3rd last day of work for dinner tmr! :D
G'night everybody!Labels: rants.
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all over again.
This feeling sucks.
Yes, all things happen for a reason. I need to remember that and move on.
Freaking easy to say, super duper ultra mega freaking hard to abide by it.
Yup, words are cheap. Saying it and convincing yourself at that point in time’s easy.
What happens later on is a totally different story.
Sigh. At times like these, I really really wish I can turn back the clock.
I know it’s a gamble, but I’m willing to take the chance.
Oh wells.
In spite of that, I know without a doubt that one day; I’ll look back with a grateful heart and thank those who convinced me not to go for round two.
What to do, time waits for no one.
Okay time to move on.
I hope I really move on instead of looking back.
I just got reminded of the rainbow I saw the day I submitted the applications.
Yes, I know everything’s in Your hands (: Labels: rants.
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regrets.
Y'know sometimes it's just the feeling of disappointment with yourself when you didn't meet up to expectations.
After more than 2 months, I finally felt the impact of it. Like what CY told me, "Don't say sorry to me; say sorry to yourself."
Initially guilty for letting her down; now it's all coming back to me.
Yes it's my future I'm impacting, not her.
And she's not the only one.
Really, the guilt for the other one is a gazillion times worse.
I still remember someone posing this question to me when I wanted to ignore one for the other, "you don't want to disappoint either; but think who's more impt to you."
SIGH.
I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason; but somehow you just can't help but feel guilty.
Guilty for falling short of expectations and letting people down;
guilty for doing some things that led to this outcome;
guilty for not letting your full potential be made manifest.
Its at times like these that I really want to turn back the clock to change things.
Esp when I'm confident that things will turn out better.
Sigh, I hate feeling like this.
And the worst thing is that you have to suck it all up and carry on with life. Labels: i'll never be able to fully comprehend., rants.
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treetop walk.
sometimes I feel that we all do stupid things in life.
it's like we insist on doing smth despite knowing damn well that we'll never succeed. the odds are against us, but we don't care.
it's like competing against seasoned atheletes in a marathon without prior training. you'll never win no matter how hard you try. but you're just itching to give it a shot. we hold on to the slight glimmer of hope that we'll win; but nonetheless you're somehow prepared for the failure, just that many a time, we under-estimate it's magnitude.
after tasting the bitter taste of failure, we pick ourselves up and ironically, we wanna have another go.
honestly, idk why I'm doing this. time and time again, I question myself. cause it makes no sense at all. it's as though I'm giving you a dagger. part of me wishes the dagger will never be used on me. then again, something at the back of my head chants, "dream on."
I really wanna tell you every single thing, but I don't want you to judge me. that's the main reason why I hesitated time and time again. you dont know how hard it is for me to hold back everytime i wanna share my joy.
maybe I should stick a post-it on you to remind me that you won't uds how i feel. ever.
I just want someone to listen when I ramble on about what happen, I don't want someone to pour hot water over my snow party. I know that friends don't want to see their friends hurt, but at the end of the day, you can't dictate their lives, can you.
yes, you advised, you did what you could. whether or not they want to listen, leave the choice up to them, really. we're all entitled to our own ideas. we're in a capitalist country, no one has any rights to impose their ideas on us and attempt to brainwash us.
I guess we just see things from different points of view. and weirdly, idk why you can do smth to others, but then when you get your deserts, you throw up a freaking big fuss. that's another thing I still don't uds about people. some learn after getting their deserts. but some still go on and on, and trust me, it gets freaking annoying after a while to see someone go on and on about how a particular someone is treating them but on the other hand, they treat other people like that too.
yes I know you have your reasons, but you know fairly well that in these kinda situations, what other people tell you will have no impact on what you do. ultimately, it's a personal choice, you'll go for it even if the entire world is against it. you're a walking testimony to that.
I guess XXX knows me really well when she told me to be careful. and XXX, you should know the high amount of trust I have in you when I told you this, seeing how close the both of you are. don't disappoint me, alright? (:
anw M, I meant what I said the other night. you don't know how long it took for me to finally dare to tell you that upfront.
DISCLAIMER: yes, I'm alright. I just needed to rant. nothing's wrong, in case you're wondering (:Labels: rants.
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wish upon a star.
Back to work tmr, after 4 days of hardcore slacking and sleeping in.
It doesn't help that I'm on the early morning shift too, gah.
It's at times like this that I wished I was unemployed. So that I can have the luxury of choosing what time I wanna do what, and not be tied down by anything.
Then again, unemployed = no money = cannot shop.
Opportunity cost, really.
(Okay I just realized that Econs principles can be applied almost everywhere. Econs is really an uber practical subject huh)
But, at least I'm meeting my short girl tmr! (Y)
Provided she doesn't fly my kite, that is.
Labels: rants.
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glitch-a-mania.
Seriously, I deserve an award for being the smartest person.
No joke.
If you are an iPhone user on iOS 4.2.1 software (could be older iOS firmwares too), please know that your alarm clock won’t work in 2011. There have been users on Twitter that have been complaining about this as well as a huge discussion post on Apple Discussion board. I waited until it was New Year’s in my area and sure enough my alarm clock didn’t work. If you are on Twitter, please click here to tweet this article and if you are on Facebook then share this article and click the like button above and be sure to let your friends know. The iPhone alarm bug will fix itself on January 3, but if you want to fix your phone now you can simply fix it by editing the alarm and setting it to repeat for multiple days.
iPhone users ticked off over alarm clock glitch By Melissa Pang  A glitch in the iPhone operating system resulted in the alarm clock function not working, resulting in many users here and worldwide to be late for work and appointments. -- PHOTO: AFP IF YOUR employee showed up late for work yesterday, do not be too quick to blame it on a night of countdown revelry. A bug in iPhone's operating system has affected its alarm clock function, causing users here and around the world to be late for work and appointments, and even miss flights. One of them, Mr Alex Lam, 31, was 30 minutes late for work because his iPhone's alarm clock failed to go off. 'When I reached the office, I realised I wasn't the only one who was late. Many others were affected too. 'We joked that it was because of the late-night partying,' said the civil servant. Mr Lam and his colleagues then tested the alarm clock on their iPhones, some of which were the latest iPhone 4 model and others the older ones. All failed to go off.
I knew about it last night, but I thought it was only on 1st Jan. Nonetheless, I decided to play safe, so I charged my Ericsson phone to act as a standby alarm.
But I overslept this morning, cause no alarm rang.
I was thinking that perhaps the iPhone alarm bug still wasn't fixed, thus the alarm didn't ring. But what about my Ericsson? It's freaking screwed, but I know the alarm won't fail me.
I found out the reason just after I finished showering. I returned to my room to hear a familiar tune. It was my alarm. Before I was wondering why my alarm was still ringing since it was 10.45pm, and my alarm was set for 6.45am, not 6.45pm, I realized that the time on my phone registered 6.55am. I out in my pre-paid SIM card that expired ages ago and I was more concerned about the alarm function, to the extent that I forgot about the time.
So that explains why I was 5 mins late for work today.
Honestly, am I smart or what?Labels: freak; but thats life, rants.
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just because.
Dear mummy and daddy, thanks for not telling me that you two were going for Watch Night Service, really.
Not like i didn't ask. yes, at that point in time you were unsure, but at least have the courtesy to tell me that you guys were going?
much love,
jessica
Nice end to 2010 huh, realizing what kind of people my parents are.
Plus recently I realised how damn freaking bloody sly the two of them can be.
Eye-opener, really. Esp since I thought it was getting better.
After finally getting me my iPhone after dragging since my contract ended early last month, they told me that i had to clear my room that night ONLY after paying, else they'd confiscate my phone.
me: huh i'm working tmr!
daddy: too bad, you can stay up until 3am one what.
seriously, bloody shit. Its a different situation altogether please. What time did I wake up in the day, what time do I have to wake up nowadays?
I did in the end, but i fell asleep in the midst and continued after waking, gave up, slept around 3am, stoned the whole day at work. Sucked ttm please, esp since its training.
Its not up to standard (it never is anw) and daddy wanted to confiscate my phone once I got home tonight so I'd stay home over the weekend to pack. Damn rubbish, seriously.
Time and time again, I told them the mess is just cause I have no space. Give me more space, and it'll be a different story altogther. They refused. So, is it my freaking bloody damn problem? I dont even have enough space in my room for my school stuff alone. If I were to fill up all the cupboards with my school stuff, its not even enough. Don't I have other things too? Gosh. And they keep claiming I have alot of stuff that I don't need. Its only true to a limited extent, but if I don't have enough space, some of the stuff will remain undiscovered, cause at the end of day I'll have to clear the 'mess'. Seriously, how is it ever possible for the mess to be eradicated without giving me more space?
And while I was saying that I'm keeping my stuff until March just to make sure, they asked if I was going to retake the A's damn sarcastically.
Me: idk see how first, my A's reallydamn bad.
Mummy: aiya no excuse, that's what you always say. if you wanna retake you pay yourself.
Seriously, wth. Honestly speaking, I felt that apart from the MAJOR mind-breakdown for History, everything else was rather okay, I was prepared. How on earth is this the same as previously?
And honestly, I think that they're in no position to comment because they have absolutely no idea what I went through during that period. Not like they would sympathize with me if they knew, they'd just say too bad. I know them well enough. Even if they don't know me.
Touch wood, but come March and they say I deserved my History grade (if it's bad which I'm hoping its not), I'm so gonna flare up I swear.
I guess they will if its bad. They always say its my fault. Everything is my fault, really.
And, I'm really damn sick and tired of all these shit. Give me a break.Labels: freak; but thats life, rants.
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