magical stardust ☺
J.
"an attempt to make sense of and articulate the thoughts running through my head."
♥ bold italic strikeout underline♡
TAGBOARD.
PEEKTURES.
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(: (: (:
went to the chinese doctor today. grace accompanied me there! more like i asked her to. but yeah. thanks alot! but she had fun watching me limp and laugh. meanie. anw, omg, damn pain i tell you.
had massage and accupuncture. and i learnt something today. when i have accupuncture, i cant take it sitting up. i need to lie down. cause a while after the doctor put in the needles i started feeling faint and losing consciousness. cold sweat, etc etc. it became better after lying down.
and yup its way better now. but dumb luh, we didnt know the one near our house was open. until we were on our way back. the one my mum goes to is close today, so i asked grace if she knew of any near our house.
grace - oh oh there's the suspicious looking one.
i thought she meant the super run down shop. so i said i didnt wanna go there. but apparently not. i felt uber dumb. i limped all the way to serangoon central for nothing -.-"
but okay la, afterall the doc i went to was super nice! we talked about education and all while waiting for the accupuncture thing to be done. and crazy can, she wanted her child to get 95% plus for chinese. which is OMG. although they're from china, its still uber impossible sounding haha.
anw, to those who asked, thanks for your concern, its way better now (: (: (:
but its still swollen though.
results tmr, oh my gosh. i dont know what to expect. but oh wells. God has a plan for us, so if i dont advance, so be it (: he's the author of our destiny. everything's planned out for us, we can't change it.
...and i dont know what to do.
'why habour such emotions? it'll only disrupt your life.
you have the opportunity and you're throwing it away.
nothing will ever be the same.
you control your destiny.
you can make things way better when they ever were.
she can say what she says and no one can stop her.
but you can change your own choice.
its your life you make the decision to change and not her.
who cares what others think as long as you are happy thats enough =D'
-regina
to be honest, i dont know what the next step should be.
i'm confused.
all of a sudden, i remembered what mingyang/mingyong said during DG the last time i was there. we were discussing one question, and i suddenly asked how we would know if we are acting according to God's will for us, or if we're simply acting on our own accord, based on our wisdom.
he told me that its just as though we're at point A, and we want to get to point B.
ultimately, cause of His plan for us, we will still reach B.
along the way, we might face detours, etc etc.
thats what we choose to do.
whether or not we turn left or turn right, its up to us to decide.
but God made it such a way that all these turns are part of the process only.
they will not have any impact on the outcome.
in a way, all roads lead to point B.
rawr. this's turning out worse than i thought it would be.
Lord, please help me.
and to you, i'm sorry.
just one last thing.
yeah, i guess i didnt know what to say in your face.
you're right, i felt that it was easier to get it off my chest through my blog. its an outlet for me, my rant-bin. that's one of the reasons why this is locked and only those close to me are invited. i dont invite any random tom, dick or harry.
cause i know that these people know what's going on, and no misunderstandings will arise.
although you did misread some parts. but now you know what i truly meant when i said i lied that day.
nonetheless, i'm sorry for that day. i guess that was just to save my skin.
Labels: and move on its time to let go, freak; but thats life, i still love you my friend, i'm never turning back again, SRGCE LiJiang (:
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yup, i've learnt my lesson. i won't give in that easily this time. i hope your medicine tastes nice. its about time you tasted your own medicine. i'm no fool (:
checklist:
1. mind (DONE)
2. phone (DONE)
3. msn (DONE)
4. memories
Labels: i'm never turning back again
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i think its the rain. i cant help but have this 藕断丝连 feeling.
although yeah, i'm pissed about what happened, sometimes i do look back and urgh, i miss all the happy times.
all the times i was thankful to God for placing you in my life.
all the times i was glad i found a good friend in you.
all the times i was happy, and wished this would go on forever.
all the times i thought of how blessed i was.
all the times i thought that things would always be fine.
all the times i thought of how we became close all of a sudden and smiled.
all the nonsense, retarded moments.
all the laughter and fun times in which i was really happy.
all the spamming and nudging and slaps on msn.
oh wells. all good things must come to an end.
i tried to block out all the negative thoughts i had in the past. i still remember what person X said, and how i got defensive. that was how important you were.
and now, it sucks that they are true.
Y, thanks for not telling me how you felt, thanks for not being a wet blanket. i guess i was just naive and ignorant.
you came into my life suddenly, and you made a sudden exit.
and i was left hanging in the air. esp with all the unfulfilled promises.
i think its just the weather. gloomy. good reflection of how i feel.
yeah, some people do agree with my sentiments. but we cant do anything uh.
its not our life, we cant control what people want to do, they have their own mind.
i guess you wouldnt listen if i tell you anyway.
the only thing i can do now is to look to the future.
forgive and forget? yes, i've already forgiven. but i think i cant forget. its just like that. i'm not sure about how things are on your side though. i think this incident's left a scar within me.
things will no longer be the same.
i guess things will just be a passing memory.
i still remember how Happy Bitches were having this convo about friendships last year, and this question surfaced. yea, at that point in time, i was skeptical. until we became friends.
yes, i still remember how i happily told cheryl that we were wrong, and such things can actually exist. so now i guess that was all an illusion.
i try not to think about it, but sometimes i just look at all the effort you put into the other one, and i can't help but wonder why you didnt do the same for this.
is what we've been speculating all along really true?
i've moved on. but sometimes i cant help but look back and reflect on life. (:
if only we know what's gonna happen so we can plan out what to do. but oh wells. life's full of challenges. that's the fun part about it. :D
at least i'm glad we got to experience this friendship, and how you were one of my best friends and my best guy friend.
*藕断丝连 -still some form of attachment left to something that's happened, something that you're detached from.
'two is better than one, but one is better than nothing.'
you know what? i totally agree. i'm better off with one now. i'm happier, i realised :D
xoxo, jessica.
Labels: and move on its time to let go, i still love you my friend, i'm never turning back again
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stickers that weren't sticky in the first place -.-
the innocent flower from Linus's OP
regina and me received one each (:
PEPPER LUNCH! :D
regina! i think we look weird in the photo.
gifts from mr tsui~
my GC. with new stickers. that can actually stick.
before
after.
my favourite drink of all time. haha
constance's pencil box
my pencil box, that cant really be closed now. initially it was cause shawn kicked it in the LT during history lecture. yesterday constance dropped it on the floor. now there's a dent -.-
haha epic. after the paper, we went to get our bags from the lockers. i put my pencil box on the floor, and i think my shoe bag near it. but somehow my shoe bag covered it and i totally forgot about it. as we were leaving, i grabbed my shoe bag and somehow i lifted part of the pencil box too. and everything came out. it was as though the box itself was dangling in the air.
oh wells. we do retarded things during this period. haha i'll always rmb constance and her 'psychological pee'
before history paper one.
jessica - eh i wanna go toilet!
constance - i also, but i think its just psychological pee. we're nervous luh.
so we didnt go. she was sitting diagonally behind me. on the right side. halfway through the paper, someone behind me raised their hand. the invigilator walked over, stopped somewhere near me. it was constance. she wanted to go to the toilet.
hmph, so much for pyschological pee, constance. haha. thats why we went to the toilet before the paper today. (: (:
to your eyes, my cloak of invisibility: not applicable when outsiders are around.
to my eyes, your cloak of invisibility: applicable all the time.
i'll play along. since that's what you wanna do, by all means. i have nothing to lose anyway.
this incident has taught me alot.Labels: i'm never turning back again, its a good day.
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