body clock is so horridly screwed up, i think i won't suffer that much of a jetlag when i head over. flying off in less than 4 hours, and i'm still wide awake.

somehow hasn't set in that i'm heading over to the States. everything just feels so surreal right now. maybe it'll set in at the airport.

Summer'13 FOC was awesomeeeeeee. had an amazingly awesome partner, was part of a super awesome house with freaking awesome OGLs and HMs! and my OG was super huge too!
Best House :D :D :D

fell super sick after camp, but it was all worth it anyway. 'twas a good last event for me before i left for Berkeley, and I'm really glad i had a chance to be an OGL one last time before i convert to an Events member.

went back to school to meet these awesome possum people for lunch yesterday, yay! GeoCorp, i really really love all of you very much :D


more photos from camp when i have the time to! or maybe this is something i can do when i'm suffering from jetlag in the States teehee.

we're always chasing after what we know we cannot have. makes me wonder why we love torturing ourselves at times. isn't it easier to put everything down and walk away, instead of constantly looking at it longingly from afar, wishing so badly that it could be ours, yet knowing that it will never be?

my day started waaaaaaaaay too early. was up and about at 6:30am, zomg when was the last time i actually got out of bed that early. no early morning crankiness tho, cause J committed a superduperultramega epic blunder hahaha. hoped C was pleasantly surprised to see us ahahaha. buttttt the fatigue kicked in soon after he flew off, didn't help that i had a full day of plans sighhh. really so thankful that supper plans were postponed :/

bon voyage, Chun Wei! see you in August :))

all ready for FOC! woohoo go Geo Corp! :D

GREEN HAIR TEEHEE.

unexplained warm, fuzzy feeling deep within after Dry Run 2 and B&B. spent a good amount of time talking about SR with 2 other ex-SRJCians, and they somehow brought back good memories. come to think of it, i hardly have bad memories about the place. all i can remember are good moments. 2009-2010 were really the best 2 years of my education.

supper with the Bishan kids thereafter, and we ended up at an amphi-theatre talking. more of bitching i'd say. i missed hanging out with the Events'13 people, i still remember our bitching session at KFC after our weekly meeting last year. ah, memories.

'twas a good day :))

i look super good when i use Photo Booth to take a passport picture. but the quality etc fails to meet the standards set by the US Embassy. so i use a normal camera and end up looking like shit, but i upload it anyway because i'm sick and tired of dragging this shit for so long. after all, it's only 2 months. after which my visa becomes a mere souvenir. even my hair is ridiculously frizzy and it doesn't cascade down my shoulders nicely but heckkkkkkk.

then i meet an anal bank teller who didn't offer to help me print out a form he could have easily obtained on the spot and i had to make another trip to the bank pfft. but i'm glad i'm done with everything (FINALLY), and all that's left is just the interview and i'm all set to go! sent Kannan off the other day and i got so excited at the thought that in 3 weeks, it's gonna be me going through those gates.

part of me really wants to run away to the other side of the world as soon as possible to escape from the nonsense in my life right now, but another part of me feels like staying put to be with my friends and all. sigh maybe the time away will do me good. i hope it does, frankly i'm tired of feeling so conflicted. i want something yet i don't want it. can't understand myself sometimes. don't get how i can miss the same person i feel repulsed by, seriously. i'm just a walking contradiction ain't i.

maybe joining Summer FOC was a bad idea. i am having fun, no doubt but maybe i want to be where all the fun is at the expense of others things. no idea how i'm going to schedule all my meetups and pack my luggage in the coming 3 weeks, seriously. i've been putting off some meetups for so long cause of all the exams that its one whole long list, and it doesn't help that i have tuition to juggle too.

anyway, if you're reading this and would like a meetup with me before i leave on the 26th, please let me know and I'll try to meet you alrighty.

there is someone i think i need to meet properly before i leave, but i somehow don't know if i should. maybe i should just let things remain the way they are right now. i don't know if i should risk worsening the horrid state of things right now with my intervention. of course, there is the possibility that things might improve but... i'm really tired of everything to be honest. one of the reasons why i cannot wait to leave. no idea what will happen to this, but somehow i don't really care anymore. i think it's reached a point where i cannot be bothered already. and for something to reach this state for me.. i guess it speaks a lot. oh well. things happen. its all part and parcel of life i guess.

my plans today were postponed at the eleventh hour and i had a to-do list, so i decided to enjoy some alone time. somehow, alone time today wasn't as therapeutic as before, but i wouldn't say it was bad. in fact, it was pretty good. stuck to my intentions of window shopping, although i was really tempted to get a blouse at F21, and i was deciding if i should use TopShop gift card to get a dress, partly because of the amount i need to top-up. frankly, i've always felt that TopShop stuff are pretty over-priced. but i don't deny that some of their stuff look good. just that the price will blow you off your feet. okay i have a feeling i will end up getting both the blouse and the dress this Friday when i head back to town after the interview. this time, i have company! sometimes i hate it when i shop alone cause there is no one to give me opinions. then again, shopping with people like Nelson is as good as shopping by myself cause he just looks at me blankly when i ask for his opinions tskkkk.

the rain came again just as i stepped into an area with no shelter and it got heavier when i had to cross the road. while waiting for the traffic light to turn green, i sought refuge under some trees and this nice lady offered to shelter me. she asked which direction i was headed, and when i asked her the same question, she said that we were headed in the same direction. buttttt i soon realized that she was just being nice, because as soon as we were in a sheltered area, she asked if this place was alright, and headed off somewhere else! warmed my heart that there are still nice Samaritans out there :'))

'twas so cold by the time i had to leave for tuition that i bought a cup of warm tea just to warm my hands on the train. and i highly suspect it's the reason why i'm super awake at 4:43am sigh. doesn't help that i have FOC dry run tmr too oh well.

somewhat excited for Summer'13 FOC! go Geo Corp~

to be honest, i had reservations about joining FOC this time around, but I'm glad i sent in my application nonetheless! enjoying myself thus far, although there are people who love going out of my way to bully me like Rudy and my dear AHM. sighpie, sucks to be me sometimes )):

i'm always in awe every time i realize that things happen for a reason; it's really so heartwarming to see His hand at work in my life :')) spent my Labour Day working (irony much) and lunch break was staggered. i think they somehow left me out of the rotation D:

a customer left a bag from J's area at my area, and i passed it to him after he came back from his lunch.

J: have you eaten?
me: nope, damn hungryyyy.
J: huh! go tell them you haven't had break! come lets go.
J: (to the IC) she hasn't had lunch.
IC: ohh, come!

there were only 2 packets of food left, and I saw the IC eating at 6-ish. which means... if not for J, i wouldn't have had any lunch )): so thankyou, knight in shining armour! :D
(although the ic started calling him my boyfriend after that. tskk, you've gotta be kidding me! but i'm still really really thankful nonetheless!)

there are days when i really miss you, and i guess tonight is one of them. not 'i miss you' cause i like you;  just 'i miss you' as a friend. things haven't been the same since the awkward conversation and the letter. then again, things haven't been the same for a super long time now, they just got progressively worse. oh wells, part and parcel of life i guess; people enter your life suddenly and they can leave suddenly too.

maybe its for the better, who knows. in any case, i hope you're doing good.