magical stardust ☺
J.
"an attempt to make sense of and articulate the thoughts running through my head."
♥ bold italic strikeout underline♡
TAGBOARD.
PEEKTURES.
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airplanes in the night sky.
After we're done with this phase of life, I'll move on.
And I can't express how much I don't want this to be but a mere passing memory.
Even after we move on, friendships can still last.
And I want this one to last.
Cause it's been a somewhat special one to me.
Honestly, you made a great impact on my life.
And even if I want to, I can't possibly forget everything overnight.
xoxo, Jessica.Labels: from everlasting to everlasting.
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a thousand miles.
Well, everything kinda made sense today.
Why you've been saying such things, why you've been bugging me to do something about it.
But honestly, sometimes things are beyond my control y'know.
Like I said before, it takes two hands to clap.
I don't deny that when I indirectly tried to discourage you from doing it, it was just because I wanted to be special.
But, you should just be contented with what you have now.
And I'm saying this not because the competition will be lessened.
Cos' even I know that if it works out, it'll sound darn ridiculous.
I guess this is just a passing phase.
I'll get over this soon.
I hope.Labels: unravel.
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finally.
After 4 long days, my fever's gone! (Y)
My flu too! So now all that's left is just my cough!
Thanks everyone for the texts, tweets & Facebook messages asking me to take care! :D
Omg I feel like the happiest girl now cause I can finally sit down and study properly without the constant urge of curling up in bed! :D
Then again, my cough mixture's making me drowsy! I slept for 4 hours in the late afternoon and when I woke up, mummy went, "Woah you can really sleep uh."
Heh, blame the medicine!
Although I'm supposed to take it 3 times a day, I think I'm only gonna eat it before I sleep.
Otherwise, I can say bye bye to my A Levels and say hello to SR for another long year. But that's not gonna happen cause I can't imagine taking my combination all over again and wondering why on earth I took Lit, I can't imagine memorizing all the statistics and dates and evidences for History, I can't imagine memorizing all the analysis for Econs all over again.
Not to mention the tutors I'd get next year, and of course, classmates. Gosh. That's one of my main motivations to work hard now.
On the basis that the person with stomach flu recovers, I have consultations for all my H2s tmr. I hope I survive. Rawr.
Anyways, person with stomach flu, get well soon k! (:
Its 10 days to the A Levels, gah.
Hotcakes with short friend tmr & study session with Constance; I can't wait. :DLabels: its a good day.
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tralalalala.
Within the span of 3 hours, my temperature shot up from 37.7 to 39.4.
Scary stuff yo. And it remained at that level for the next 5 hours despite me spamming 2 Panadols and drinking honey water.
I realized I haven't had a fever for ages, but I don't remember my temperature hitting 39 for a freaking long time.
Anw, thanks Jermaine for accompanying me to the doctor!
And for helping me to get my stuff from the locker. You know I love you! <3
P.S My medicine tastes DISGUSTING.
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run the distance.
Mummy's gonna start nagging if she knows I'm sick. She was asking encouraging me not to run today cause she noticed that my health's deteriorating. But I said I wanted to go if the haze was subsiding.
Right now, I'm running a slight fever; my head hurts and so does my throat.
Gah. I need to get well soon, otherwise how am I supposed to study?
And damn cute luh, people're scared of me now, they call me to make sure I wake up. Once bitten, twice shy. Especially ODAC-ians! First time it happened was during Will Run 2009, when we were Road Marshalls for Will Walk, and once again during the Peiying Primary CIP. Heh.
Nonetheless, it was a great run. SR won again, and I realized its actually possible to finish 10km in 90 mins. Cause I didn't even train since Will Run. Unless you count a solitary 2km run training, that is.
Wanted to run for the first 4km, walk the next 2km then run all the way, but Ness kicked up a big fuss midway. Hahaha. In the end Nina and me left her alone when we started running after 7km.
 (Y)
Back to my Econs CSQ now!Labels: its a good day., ODAC is love (:, school (:
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to the 5 awesome girls in my life.
At the end of my stay in SR, I really wanna thank the 5 awesome girlfriends whom I've gotten to know through the course of my two year journey. Without their presence, idk what I'd do everytime I had a problem, I wouldn't have as much fun and laughter. Basically, life would suck.
Regina, Vanessa, Constance, Michelle and Jermaine, its been an awesome experience getting to know the 5 of you, thanks for always being there for me no matter what shit happens. (:
Regina
Yupp, like what you said in your letter, marrying you was the right choice! You were one of my rare few close girlfriends back in my J1 year, and yeah, it was nice having a girl's company in the midst of all my close guy friends.
I'll never forget all our rubbish during lessons, walking to the SSC to talk to the auntie cause we had too much time, snacking during lessons, looking for power plugs to charge our phones, irritating our Chinese teacher by submitting assignments in every colour but black & blue, water parades to stay awake during two-hour long GP lessons, and LIJIANG!
Omg, your presence in the trip made my entire trip awesome, esp with what was happening at that time, I'll never forget all the rubbish we did with Emilia in the room over at the room in the Nature Park (?), esp how you totally ripped the light wire out of the socket.
THIS REMINDS ME, WE HAVEN'T TAKEN A PHOTO TGT WHEN WE WORE OUR COUPLE TEEEEEEEE!
Thanks for introducing me to your Council friends, without whom the last part of my J1 year and my entire J2 year would suck. I'll never forget all the long days spent in the Council Room after Promos, all the Pokemon and Tai-di, copying out Econs/History Promo corrections, etc.
I'll never ever forget your freaking choosy attitude when it comes to food, and how my plate'd always end up with all the onions from your plate.
Whether or not you're gonna withdraw from SR, I'll always be there for you. ((:
Constance
I still remember how we started studying tgt for the Promos and we got to know one another better, and how it has culminated to become the friendship we have today.
Studying tgt for the re-exams was a blast, esp with how we ended up trying to pronounce the names of Southeast Asian nationalists instead of studying how they contributed to Pre-War Nationalism. Hahaha that period of time was seriously epic, sometimes I read the cheem names and I remember all the retarded moments last year.
Thanks for being there for me during the last part of J1, thanks for being my rant-fest buddy, you made me feel a whole lot better after each session. I still remember you frequenting the Council Room with Kuang Jie and how we'd end up asleep on the same sofa. (:
Vanessa
My dearest baby, my longest friendship in SR. I still remember how we clicked tgt on the first session of ODAC trials cause we were the heroes who came alone from our class, and how after the first few trainings, we'd be too lazy to go home and we'd end up lying on the track. Getting nervous before ODAC EXCO election day, worried about our campaign speech, those were the days huh?
Being in the EXCO with you has been a real pleasure, and its even more awesome that in the midst of getting to know the rest of the ODAC-ians, we got closer, instead of finding new friends.
Thanks for being my cam-whore buddy, tgt with Miss Liu, thanks for making my ODAC days alot brighter and sunnier!
Knowing you was seriously one of the best things that happened to me in SR, and how you made ODAC mean alot more to me than what it'd originally had meant.
Thanks for getting worried/angry when i don't do well/come late, thanks for trying your best to make sure Baby conforms. I know its been hard, hahaha.
I won't forget all the SR Snail Mail letters exchanged, they always put a smile on my face. I still keep all those from last year, esp the cute cue card with all the emoticons to cheer me up when I was affected by that issue last year! (:
Timbre/movie/kite-flying/ODAC chalet and more after the 26th of Nov alright!
Chicken Little loves Willy Wonka <3!
Jermaine
short friend! teehee (Y)
I'm glad God brought you into my life, cause you've definitely brought joy to my J2 life.
Thanks for being the cute, blur, retarded and sweet girl you've been, thanks for all the encouraging notes and letters, although sometimes the content should be censored! Heh. The post-its are still stuck in my diary, and I don't think I'll be able to flip through my diary without smiling at all the rubbish post-its.
Its been really nice having a close Christian girl friend! (:
One thing I really don't uds, is how Miss Zeenat can confuse the both of us. Weird max. Hahaha yeah, it was awesome being the flower girls for Miss Zeenat's sister's wedding! <3
Michelle
Okay, this might seem weird, but idk how we suddenly became this close all of a sudden! But its a pity we weren't this close when the J2s were still in ODAC!
Its been really nice studying with you before your Promos. I'll never forget all the cornflakes, Dewberry and how you'd somehow become part of our History consultations.
I'll really miss you when I graduate! Don't lose faith alright, study hard in J2! (:
other photos next time, when I need a break from studying (:Labels: no matter what; we'll still be friends. ♥
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SRJC all for you.
Graduation wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be, but the talks by the representatives from the different departments were entertaining/enlightening/encouraging. (:
We all had a surprise for Mr Tan, and he got so touched that he cried, and seriously, crying is contagious. Just look at how many of us were tearing when we sang 'As We Hold On Together'.
I'll miss the school. Both the teachers and the students, even the principal. I just hope that the new principal who takes over after Mr Tan leaves at the end of the year doesn't change/remove the things that make SRJC unique, the things that I'd hold dear to my heart, the things that made SRJC the College it is today.
Cam-whored after the ceremony, followed by a Short Nation lunch afterwards. Hahaha I'll miss all this retarded shit stuff after we leave SR.
Pictures up after Regina lends me her camera cable (:
For now, its back to the Crisis Decades. Which totally sucks, FYI. It drove me to the brink of insanity last night. Bleah.Labels: its a good day., school (:, SR memories.
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hope in the distance.
 Found something in my inbox. Aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God. Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that, “the past.” Live every day one day at a time and remember that only God knows our future and that he will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings, but look to the doors that only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor. Wait, be still and patient, keep God first and everything else will follow. (: Labels: thank you Lord (:
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second chance.
Second Chance
Hillsong United
You called my name
Reached out Your hand
Restored my life
And I was redeemed
The moment You entered my life
Amazing grace
Christ gave that day
My life was changed
When from my shoulders
Fell the weight of my sin
So it's with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope for change
The second chance I've gained
On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist
Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I'm now in love
With a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love
So it's with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope for change
The second chance I've gained
On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist
(x2)
So I'll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lift and move
And I'll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails
(x3)Labels: lyrics.
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with arms high.
It's an awesome day again, I spent almost the entire day laughing. Seriously. And this kinda days always happen when my stomach muscles are aching. Super irritating I swear, cause here I am, trying hard not to laugh but the people around me are seriously making me laugh me guts out. And it hurts. Thank goodness today's aches aren't that bad.
I think I'm retarded, seriously.
Oh and today, some super emo person was playing the piano, we could feel all his anger and sorrows. He was banging the keys damn hard, seriously. To the extent that it was amusing. Yes, I burst out laughing again. With Nurul staring at me in utter amazement cause I couldn't stop.
Every single thing triggered the laughing gas within me today I guess.
And its so annoying, Nurul made me realize that I'm bastard-able. History yst was a good example. Gillian and me reached at 12.30pm. On the dot. But we got caught by Mrs Phay for not tying our hair. So by the time we entered the LT, it was 12.41pm.
Mr Ong- (looks at the clock)
Gillan and Jessica - Sorry sorry!
Mr Ong - Its okay! Take your time! (sarcastically of course)
(as we were talking to our seat)
Mr Ong - Don't fall down uh!
I think it was directed at me, I totally gave him the face. Hahahaha.
But seriously, why am I that bastard-able? ):
The J1s had History Promos Post-Mortem today and after the lecture Reese started saying that Mr Ong was retarded. But honestly, when is he NOT retarded? The day he's not retarded will be the day the sky falls. And that's when Chicken Little will save the day :D
At the same time, Reese made me realize that I'll never attend a lecture anymore, and I started feeling damn nostalgic. This isn't happening. I'm dreading 22nd October 2010.
OH. Around 8.30pm this guy came up to the cafe and asked us to vacate the benches cause he wanted to paint them. But, at 8.30pm? When we're studying? This doesn't make sense at all, seriously.
At the bus stop, Kuang Jie was imitating Mrs Sim saying how eveything's for your own good, and he started talking about how I'm a Brownie, short and stumpy, and a whole load of rubbish.
Jessica - I wanna slap you alr laa.
Kuang Jie - (puffs out left cheek)
Jessica - I really slap uh!
Kuang Jie - You slap, my right hand come out uhh!
Jessica - Woah like Cold War sia, action and reaction. I'm USA! Then you're USSR!
Kuang Jie - Your Cold War, 冷的lor!
AND HE FREAKING SOUNDED LIKE MR ONG!
Haha Jonathan and me were laughing afterwards.
It's Math Pre-A's tmr, and I don't feel like doing anything. And Miss Ng's gonna mark it. Shucks.
I'm scared of myself y'know, cause I fluctuate like crazy. E to A, then I'll fall right down and then rise again. Even Miss Ng's scared of me. Seriously, who wouldn't?
idk why I'm always thinking of 'what if'.
but just now if I were to come clean, what would your reaction be?
somehow, I can no longer feel the level of closeness whereby I'd willingly pour out my sorrows. Labels: HAPPY MEALS ARE FOR HAPPY GIRLS. LIKE JESSICA. ;D, its a good day., school (:
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only where we know.
Today was just superbly awesome. I have no idea why, especially since I stayed up till 4am last night and was on the verge of being zombie-fied before History Pre-A's.
Before the Pre-A's Kuang Jie took my phone and texted Mr Ong : Uh Mr Ong, Kuang Jie has a SEVERE stomachache and he says he might not be able to make it for the paper.
I have no idea why Mr Ong didn't think that this was some kind of prank, cause he replied, "what happened sia"
HAHAHAH damn joke, and when Mr Ong saw Kuang Jie in the hall, the idiot still feigned a stomachache-look -.-"
The Pre-A's was like some kinda sharing session haha, we were passing sweets around. I think almost everyone wasn't really prepared. Friedrich even brought in his iPod 'to listen to when Mr Ong wasn't around'.
The mood was damn relaxed and we were still talking while checking the paper and telling one another which question was easy and which ones we were gonna do -.-"
Mr Ong was just. Weird/retarded/spastic.
As he was walking around,
Jessica - Uh Mr Ong, toilet? (points in the direction)
Mr Ong - Huh?
Jessica - Can I go to the toilet?
Mr Ong - No. (with a straight and serious face)
Jessica - Huh. (sian face)
Mr Ong - (breaks out into a grin) Go la.
Jessica - Tsk.
I totally gave him the 'what the hell' face as I walked out of the hall. Hahaha there's smth wrong with him, seriously. Guai lan to the max sia. Jonathan told me after the paper that Mr Ong started smiling to himself after I went out. Weird, seriously. Lol.
Heard from Bijal later that when she was sleeping, Mr Ong happened to be walking around and instead of asking her not to sleep, he asked where was her Identification. When he didn't even check our ID before the paper. He was just weird today, seriously.
Had a good laugh with Constance and Jermaine during post moterm, I was seriously in a good mood today. Somehow the 3 hour paper caused my mood to improve my leaps and bounds! :D
Tau huay-ed with Vanessa, Yong Siong and Nina afterwards, and it felt like the old times all over again. Seriously, 22nd SR ODAC is missed!
 I miss all the random chit-chat sessions;
I miss the random tau huay times;
I miss all the rubbish we did together;
I miss driving one another mad with all our nonsense;
I miss guai lan-ing Yong Siong;
I miss ODAC!
For now, I think I shall do some Math before catching up on loss sleep. At least History Post-Mortem Part 2 starts at 12noon tmr, which means I can sleep in! :D Labels: its a good day., ODAC is love (:, school (:
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i don't care, but you do.
Y'know, what happened the other day made me realize that yeah, its a little too close.
Actually all the signs were right in front of me all along, just that I refused to believe that it was the case. Until that day.
Honestly, I don't really think there's anything wrong with it. I think its just cause I'm used to it? Oh wells.
But actually, I can't deny that the main reason why I started thinking so much about it was because of what you said to me, otherwise I doubt I'd have given this issue much thought.
Regina, Vanessa, Michelle and Constance; thanks for hearing me out <3Labels: pick up the pieces
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from me to you.
Had a nice dinner at Astons with Ness after Econs STAR on Friday (which totally killed my brain cells), and we queue-ed for ONE FREAKING HOUR zomg. But I guess it was all worth it, we enjoyed oursleves despite the cui-ness and the seh-ness. Hahahaha.
It was a nice time catching up with Baby, I missed her a whole lot!
Wanted to take Polaroids that day but we decided against it due to the extreme fatigue the both of us were facing, so we ended up taking digital shots.
Super cute, we were just desperate to take photos, heh.
Typical of all cam-whores luh :D
Yes Ness, I'll take things at surface value ((:
Next up on the dinner list will be Michelle! Now that the promos are over, I miss studying with her, I miss seeing her everyday! Rawr.
Y'know, its studying with these people that actually makes studying fun and enjoyable ((:
I'll miss the girls a hell lot when I graduate, seriously.Labels: its a good day.
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historical objectivity.
Today was the last day of formal lessons at SRJC.
History lecture made me feel nostalgic all at once, and seriously, I think Mr Ong has the potential to become a motivational speaker hahaha. Gillian, Jermaine and me were predicting that he'll off the lights when he told us to close our eyes. True enough; and the three of us burst into laughter, with Mr Ong staring bewilderedly at us. Hahaha.
I realised how much I've grown these 2 years here in SRJC. Mr Ong's words made me remember how resistent I was to taking History in JC, and how I wanted to appeal out of SR just because I had to take History.
Blame my Sec 4 History teacher, she somehow managed to make me hate a subject I LOVED for the past three years, and I even swore after my O Level History paper that I'd never ever touch History again.
Twist of events huh?
Somehow, Mr Wong and Mrs Teng made me love History all over again, and 2 years after embarking on this journey, I can boldly say that History has been a blessing in disguise.
Never have I questioned why I took History, never did I wish I wasn't a History student.
As Mr Ong spoke, I remembered the first History lectures and tutorials back in 2009. Yes, I was apprehensive, and although the content was somewhat similar to what I studied a year ago except that it was more detailed, I did struggle.
Looking back, I can safely say that yes, I have come a long way. History can indeed be the bedrock of my faith, and it can act as a testimony of how I persisted against the odds, of how I gave this subject and the tutors a second chance before judging the subject. Till date, taking H2 History has been one of the best choices I've ever made in my JC education.
Like what Mr Ong said in his magazine interview, History allows us to capture and convey the facets of human nature.
Somehow, when I remember my J1 History days, I can't help but smile to myself. Sitting with Sandra during lectures and poking her incessantly to wake her up, helping her to flip her lecture book whenever she dozed off and looking out for the other tutor who would be walking around.
I also remember how there would be a frantic rush before every lecture to annotate the assigned pages, and if it wasn't annotated by the time lesson started, we'd cross our fingers and hope that our seat number would not be called.
IF we were caught, we'd pray hard that the lecturer wouldn't speak so fast, so that we'd have less pages of the lecture book to copy out. During tutorials, if we didn't do our preparation, we'd pray hard that the tutorial outline would be in point form so we wouldn't have to copy so much.
Mr Wong never failed to make History tutorials something I always looked forward to. (:
All these moments brought a smile to my face, and I remembered the fateful day when I realized Mrs Teng was looking out for the seat number of either Sandra/Louisa/myself to call up for book checking during the next lecture. Sandra didn't believe me, but in the end I won a cup of drink.
Somehow, the History department made the studying of History fun and enjoyable.
My J2 year was more awesome, when Mr Ong became my subject tutor. Somehow or rather, I realized I didn't know much of History in J1. Ironical, huh. And honestly, I think I'm blessed to have such a patient tutor who'd explain to me all my WEIRD queries, despite them being taught in J1. I should have kept a track record of the countless times he asked in Mandarin, "did you even pay attention in class last year?!?"
Seriously.
But he made me love History more, and as I became motivated to understand the subject, I fell deeper in love with History. Seriously, I think he's a super patient teacher. Just look at the excessive amount of questions I texted him to ask a day before History P1 during the Prelims, some of which were kinda basic, and how he even resorted to calling me to clarify cause I was totally confused.
Honestly, my journey with History has been a long and ardous one. But yes, I'm proud to say that I did improve along the way, and I graduated from SSS. Although I didn't meet my aim of moving up to the green zone after the Prelims, I'm actually glad because being a midfielder gives me more motivation to strive for excellence.
To the SRJC History Department; thanks for being a super duper ultra mega awesome department, thanks for always believing that we'll outrun the tiger, thanks for always saying 'we scare because we care'.
 History has got to be one of the most beautiful subjects, actually. To understand what people thought, did, why certain ideologies failed, and simply understanding human nature. It makes you an objective person, instead of the ordinary man on the street with his own biased little view. It made me re-look my previous impression of the US; no more great big altruistic nation, but one with its own interests and policy screw-ups. - Constance
Regina; I seriously miss being in the same class as you and being able to spend my entire duration of school time with you. During the lecture I suddenly remembered all the retarded things we did together, esp the time when we went to the toilet on the 2nd floor of the A block and started jumping around when the lights didn't turn on cause we thought it was motion censored. HAHAHA.
And I miss driving you mad whenever I bought the mint chocolate from the SSC, after which I'd start being super duper ultra mega retarded, heh.
The list can go on, but the bottom line is that I miss you a hell lot. ):
I took quite a long time getting used to not having you with me during lessons, both during the Nov Supplementary lessons in 2009 and the beginning of 2010.
Don't worry dear, I'll still be able to meet up with you and all next year alright? You can text me whenever you're bored during lessons, just like what we did this year, etc etc.
Nothing much will change, just that I won't be able to see you everyday in school. I promise ((:
Y'know, I wonder how I'd feel on 22nd October 2010.
These 2 years in SRJC has really transformed me into a different person, somehow I doubt I'd ever have the chance to feel like this in another place.
The friendships forged, the awesomely caring teachers (who sometimes double up as a friend), the consultations, ODAC moments, etc.
I guess I'll just have to wait till 22nd October 2010 to feel the entire impact of the truth dawning upon me that yes Jessica; you're going to graduate from SRJC.Labels: SR memories., we scare because we care.
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take me somewhere.
I feel as though I'm on an emotional rollercoaster.
I guess its just the emo time of the year.
I realised that this time last year, I was in an emo mood too. No prizes for guessing the reason.
Half of the class skipped school yesterday. Apparently it was 'damn bloody obvious'.
The A's are coming; I'm panicking.
And today was just an unproductive day, which explains why I'm back early. Plus I left my GE stuff at home, and I've 2 essay outlines due for tmr's tutorial.
Oh wells.
Y'know, things have changed.
But I somehow don't care anymore, unlike in the past where this kind of things bothered me.
Times have changed I guess.
I have more important priorities. Its during times like this that I feel as though I no longer know myself. Gah, why's it a yearly kinda thing? -.-"Labels: school (:, that's life.
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inertia much?
Spammed Mr Tsui's consultation schedule, I have an outstanding debt of 4 consultations, excluding next week's. o.o
Booking Miss Ong for History since Mr Ong's having compulsory slots for people which means we can't really book him.
All of a sudden, I'm worried for my Literature.
I don't wanna come back next year! D:
Provided Miss Zeenat doesn't give me a good conduct grade, that is.
Anyway, coffee had a minimum impact on Thursday night and I ended up sleeping. Woke up to turn off the computer but then instead of sleeping for another 5 mins, it became 5 hours.
History Timed Prac was kinda screwed, obviously.
On a sidenote,
That day, I realised that any outsider would sense something, with all the 'inside things' and all.
Then again, I don't really care y'know.
You can say what you want to. Just know that I will exercise my own discretion. Labels: pick up the pieces, school (:
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