magical stardust ☺
J.
"an attempt to make sense of and articulate the thoughts running through my head."
♥ bold italic strikeout underline♡
TAGBOARD.
PEEKTURES.
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over capacity?
Also, many of you have a date with this STAR: Friday shall be the day you finally complete 4 essays in 3 hours, no matter what. Live up to your commitment and your true potential.
3 hour timed-practice tmr, and I'm barely prepared. But I promised myself I won't do stupid things again. Which means that the previous incident of handing in one essay won't happen
This week has been a mad rush, seriously.
Try sleeping at 4am twice within 4 days and not making up for the loss.
Work is piling up, I'm afraid my revision will stagnate.
Miss Zeenat confirmed my sentiments that my Econs will be alright if I have the content, cause I have no problems interpreting the questions.
I guess that's a good thing! ((:
Coffee, I need a maximum impact today!
Labels: school (:
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grace.
My wallet's safe and sound now, contents are all in check EXCEPT my cash. $82, wth.
$72 from 2A05's order of the Will Run Tees; $10 from class fund. Haizer passed me the cash that very morning ):
In spite of that, I'm thankful that I removed all the class fund money from my wallet the night before I dropped it.
And I realized that as weird as it may seem, the first thought that came to my mind when I realised I dropped my wallet wasn't about the cash, but more of the photos, polaroid shots, notes and cards; things that have sentimental value, something irreplaceable by material wealth. Now that I got them back safely, I'm more than thankful. (:
Honestly, I'd rather lose $82 than all the cards, notes and pictures.
There're 3 groups of people.
1. Good people who'd return the wallet the way they found it.
2. Normal people who'd remove the cash and return the contents.
3. Horrible people who'd remove the contents and throw the wallet away.
Just thank God.
- W
Y'know what, I can't agree more.
I just can't help but feel super blessed to get my wallet back, and to have a mum who'd be willing to google the location, search for directions and go down to the place to collect the wallet on my behalf cause I had school.
Dear God, thank you for blessing me with such awesome people ((:Labels: thank you Lord (:
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take me on a roller coaster ride.
I'm totally exhausted.
For some apparent reason, I couldn't sleep last night until 4am. Wait, correction. I forced myself to sleep at 4am, cause I looked into the mirror and saw dark shadows forming.
Oh wells, at least I covered a bit of Econs last night (Y)
Halfway through the school day, I started feeling super duper ultra mega sehh. To top it off, we had a 3 hour Lit Timed Practice. -.-"
Stayed for History consult, and it didn't help that Mr Ong started shooting me with Econs related questions that I couldn't really answer. Most of them were from micro anyway, which kinda explains what I started staring at him in bewilderment each time he asked me a question.
At least I could answer his cheem question of how Contractionary Monetary Policy leads to an increase in interest rates (Y)
Mugging Econs last night paid off afterall :D
Retarded max.
Jessica : Aiya, I damn seh alr laaaa.
Mr Ong : You want coffee?
Jessica : Uh, better not. Coffee either has a minimum/maximum impact on me. I might end up more seh. Hahahaha
After a while,
Mr Ong : Eh, how come Michelle can answer all my questions?
Jessica : Cause it's common sense!
Michelle : You just shot yourself y'know.
Jessica : I really seh liao la. And the two of them burst out laughing at me. Mean people!
And Mr Ong started being retarded.
Jessica : Eh, you damn retarded sia.
Mr Ong : Of course. You seh, offer you coffee you don't want cause of maximum/minimum impact so must do this type of things to engage you what.
Jessica : -.-" This reminds me, I've a UN ICJ SBQ due on Wednesday, along with 2 detailed essay outlines.
The best part? I haven't started on any.
Wait, there's more.
3 x Prelims question 2 for Econs, since I failed that question for the Test Corrections. Thank goodness I passed question 6. It's due first period tmr, damnit.
So much for wanting to study tonight.
I bet I'll just crash and knock out a while later.
And the stupid place isn't answering their phone. Uber stupid. So many people have asked me why on earth this kinda lost and found place isn't open on weekends and Monday.
Mr Ong even said that most probably it isn't my wallet in the first place so they don't wanna disappoint me. Yeah right. Hahahaha.
I think I'm going down after school to get my wallet? Provided they freaking answer their phone. I just remembered: I can't leave school till 2.30pm cause I freaking don't have my College Pass. Rawr.
Anyway, the CLB kids had their Oral Examination today. Afterwards, Ben & Ezra came into the Ruby room, where we were having our timed practice.
Apparently, they were asked what their favourite subject was for the conversation segment.
Jessica : Someone should totally say Chinese.
Gillian : Hahahaha damn joke, then the examiner will totally laugh at you cause you're freaking taking CLB.
True isn't it. Haha afterall, being lousy at a subject doesn't necessarily mean you don't like it. It might just be that for some reason or another, you're just not competent enough. Lol.
Let's hope tmr will be a better day. (:
Random, but I started wondering what you'd do if I said yes. Offer me yours? :D Labels: from everlasting to everlasting., school (:
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round the merry-go-round.
I was late for school on Friday and from the sound of things, I think Miss Zeenat's giving me a good conduct grade. Which means I can't retain next year. Not like I want to go through this hell for a second time again though. Just saying.
Good conduct grade = Bronze award for Character Development, so much for hoping the standard for Gold in the physical fitness will be 150km instead of 200km.
This sucks. Fulfilling all the criteria for Gold except for physical fitness and conduct grade, and instead of settling for Silver, I'm bumped all the way down to Bronze. What's the use of all the CIP Level 3, Leadership stuff to me now?
I totally forgot my CT is no longer like Mr Tsui who'll give me a Very Good conduct grade even though I was on Early Bird Program twice. Bleah.
While having Lit consult yst, I realised how badly my Lit sucks and I started to wonder how I passed Lit in J1. Attaining E never used to be a problem for me. And I only made the realization that if i continue going on like this, I'm not gonna pass Lit, 47 days before the A Levels. My life seriously sucks.
At least I'm starting revision for Econs (like finally) and Wan Ru's helping me.
Math just needs more practice and I need to pray I'm not careless enough to write some rubbish and lose marks.
History; Mr Ong says I just need to brush up on my content.
But I'm still panicking cause there's a freaking lack of time. 6 weeks to the A's, meaning less than 2 weeks for each subject.
To make things worse, my studying schedule's gotta be jeopardized on Tuesday cause I need to go down to the Centralised Found and Unclaimed Property Office to get my wallet. They're not answering their phone, so I have no idea whether I can actually get it back tmr. Which would be more convenient. Getting it today would be the best, but, I have no idea why they're not open today -.-"
I'm still praying the wallet the Serangoon NPC wallet received is mine and not some other person's. Why can't they record the name of the owner before passing it over to the Centralised Found and Unclaimed Property Office?
Okay, I'm ranting. And I realized I haven't been in the best of moods recently, partly because the entire week has been somewhat unproductive. This unproductivness has got to stop, otherwise I'm freaking bloody screwed for the A Levels.
On a side note, all the best for the Promos to the J1s! Especially ODAC-ians (:
Well, to be honest, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Its just you thinking too much and reading too deep into the matter.
So what if there's a comfortable feeling there?
It stops there.
Labels: oh wells.., pick up the pieces
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lost and found.
I think I'm getting smarter with every passing day.
Just now, I tapped my ez-link card upon alighting from the bus. Somehow, as I was putting my wallet back into my bag, I dropped it.
UNKNOWINGLY.
To cut the long story short, I called the Serangoon NPC. Thank goodness someone found it and returned it. Its with some Lost and Found place now, and I can only get it back on Tuesday. Don't ask me why, I also dk why the Serangoon NPC's so freaking efficient.
But what matters is that its in safe hands.
PTL, seriously (:
I find it damn amazing. I just hope that the contents are in tact, and the wallet found is mine.
And what's with assumptions, my dad freaking yelled at me after he found out that my house keys were inside. Yes, I know its my fault for putting the keys in my wallet. But he yelled cause he bloody assumed my IC was inside and people knew our address.
Bloody hell, at least get your facts right please. And I was telling my parents what the person at Serangoon NPC told me and he freaking bloody couldn't understand. And I got scolded again. Idk what's wrong I swear. At least my mum understood perfectly and explained it to him.
My heart's beating damn fast now, and its a mixture of rage and thankfulness.
Labels: thank you Lord (:
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movie under the stars.
We had 3 of this. Thanks Miss Liu! :D
When the rain came down..
Love you baby! <3
I think it was the atmosphere or smth, but the event made me feel as though it was ODAC all over again.
And I realised how badly I miss ODAC. The company, especially.
Labels: its a good day., ODAC is love (:
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sorry seems to be the hardest word.
Idk why I feel super duper ultra mega guilty for handing in only one essay for today's 3 hour History timed practice when we were supposed to hand in four. I did my SBQ, and I started on my JO essay. Somehow or other, I couldn't remember the actual facts and I just gave up.
After hearing what Mr Ong said before we were released, I just felt super guilty.
And it got worse upon seeing him after Movie Under The Stars.
Even at this point of time, there's just this heavy burden within me.
This is not happening, seriously.
I've never felt this way before, even when I handed in rubbish for my tests/timed practices. I'd even laugh it off. And its a totally different scenario this time. But I guess its a good thing cause I'm starting to take ownership of my own grades.
Plus I said I wanted an A for History, but it seems as though I'm not freaking doing anything about it.
Sorry.
This won't happen ever again. I promise; you can trust me. (:Labels: sorry.
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live, breathe, sleep.
Its seriously damn scary, we're barely 50plus days to the big A's, and I'm barely prepared.
I'm gonna face my fears and start 'living, breathing and sleeping Econs until my A's". As much as I hate it, its good for me.
Miss Zeenat said she worked miracles within 20 schooldays previously, and I believe she has the potential to do it again.
4 consecutive hours of lessons, 3 consultations and I'm drained. To begin with, I was already exhausted upon waking up. Weird thing is, I think I'm exhausted beyond measure already, cause now I don't feel a tad bit of exhaustion.
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll burn out and collapse. That'll totally suck, seriously.
We were given an analysis of our Prelim results just now, and it made me fear to the extent that I wanted to cry. Yeah, I improved a little in terms of rank points, but its not going to get me anywhere. I'm just afraid that come March 2010, I'll be left hanging. Too good to retain, too bad to retain.
Its do or die this time, and I'm just going to give things my best shot.
And yeah, cling on to the everlasting promise of hope and deliverance (:
I think it was just a casual sweeping statement, stop freaking making a big deal out of it.
Y'know, you ain't helping with all your comments.
Just in case you didn't know, they make me feel worse off than I initially was. Labels: pick up the pieces, school (:, thank you Lord (:
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sparrow.
“The eyes of the Lord are in every place” (Proverbs 15:3), and nothing escapes His attention, including you and me. God understands and values the finest points of our being. Jesus said, “The very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matthew 10:30).
It’s amazing that God keeps a tally of our personal trivia and is even aware of a bird’s misfortune. Since He knows about these small details, we can trust that He sees and cares about the big issues that ruffle our feathers. When we ask Him for help, God’s response is always informed by His perfect knowledge of us and our circumstances. Let’s trust Him with our anxious concerns. —Jennifer Benson Schuldt
If God sees the sparrow’s fall,
Paints the lilies short and tall,
Gives the skies their azure hue,
Will He not then care for you? —Anon.
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
Labels: thank you Lord (:
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you spin my head right round.
 Tau huay-ed with my two beloved girls after school, and Jessica is a super duper ultra mega happy kid.Of late, as tired as I may seem, seeing these two girls around in school is enough to put a wide smile on my face. Especially Vanessa! I was at the locker just now and when I saw her at the cafe table where my bag was, I literally flung open my locker, threw my things in and ran back to the cafe. To which she said, "Why're you like some bimbo bouncing around?" Pfft :P But it's all right Baby, I'll still love you. <3  Idk why people have been telling/asking me why I have a back face everyday since school re-opened.
Its just due to fatigue i guess. And no, I'm not angry with anyone. Heh. Labels: HAPPY MEALS ARE FOR HAPPY GIRLS. LIKE JESSICA. ;D
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universal brotherhood and the equality of men.
Dear diary, this is harder than it seems.
Yes, I don't deny the depth, but it's hard to put a halt and possibly reverse the entire thing. Cause even when things remain stagnant on my side, I can't control the happenings over on the other side.
Why did this have to happen? Life was great otherwise.
Y'know, sometimes when I think about the whole issue, I feel like just talking it out with you. I don't actually know what I'd say or how I'd go about doing it, but it seriously beats all this shit going around.
Last night's conversation got me thinking, and I seriously don't know what I should do.
Its just, weird..? I admit, this is the closest one so far. Way closer than XXX, I must say.
This is bothering me way more than I thought it would.Labels: pieces of the puzzle
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east to the west.
Just checked my mail, and I saw smth that instantly put a SMILE on my face.
Jermaine and me are in the same History consultation group! :D :D
Okay, this is weird. I don't know why I'm THIS happy.
Anddd, I have a sudden craving for Dewberry and yogurt!
Tmr tmr tmr! :DDDD
Seriously, I don't know why I'm so random and retarded today. Heh.Labels: HAPPY MEALS ARE FOR HAPPY GIRLS. LIKE JESSICA. ;D
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round the roundabout.
Today was just a bad day. Everything I studied didn't make sense.
First came Math. I seriously seriously HATE Statistics. I did a quick calculation that day of my Prelim score. For Pure Math section alone, I had an A. But I either had an S or E for Statistics.
So I guess I needa brush up on Stats big time, if I want my A in November.
And, Japan seriously sucks. Why can't the case study be similar to that of China's?
Stupid stupid luh. Growth, factors slowing down growth and problems hindering recovery. Can't they group the last two together?! Irritating sia.
I realised I have a tendancy to talk to myself when I study History. Especially GE!
At least today Regina listened to me and added in constructive comments. Unlike Jermaine Peh!
Jessica : You damn kuku one eh, I talk to you, then you plug in and ignore me! So rude!
Jermaine : You talking to yourself what!
Jessica : Where got! I'm teaching you History! I think I can't study History alone, people confirm think I'm crazy luh.
Jermaine : Then send you to IMH! Eh eh, you talk to the people there, they sure respond to you! Ask them about the Japanese asset bubble then they take out the bubble thing and blow! :D Nonsensical girl, hahaha. Speaking of which, she's just decided that she no longer wants to jump down from the gallery. She'd rather bang into walls -.-"
Hahaha. Michelle (ODAC) and me met Mr Ong yst!
Mr Ong : Eh Jessica, please look after Jermaine.
Jessica : Huh?
Mr Ong : Make sure she doesn't jump!
Jessica : I think I'll jump with her eh.
Michelle : Yar yar! They'll hug one another and jump down from that block!
Mr Ong : o.o
Epic much. Apparently Mr Ong was delighted to see Jermaine in school this morning.
This is seriously super duper ultra mega retarded, hahaha.
And yes, before I forget.
JERMAINE PEH IS AN ALL TIME KUKU! :D
Jermaine and Regina, this's for you.
 Thanks for being there for me esp when things like this happen, thanks for listening to me, thanks for making me laugh at the retarded stuff you two do. Simply put, thanks for taking my mind off the issue and cheering me up.
Love love! <3. Studying at Boon Keng Mac tmr with my beloved Jermaine, and I can't wait to wear my orange ODAC tee! :D
Labels: its a good day., school (:
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jigsaw puzzle.
Y'know what? I'm seriously baffled.
Cause this doesn't even make sense at all to begin with.
I tried using the 4W 1H theory to understand this whole issue but it didn't solve the puzzle.
This feels as though there's a secret detector or something somewhere.
Otherwise, why did it all begin?
What started this entire thing to begin with anyway? I refuse to believe that a simple incident kick-started it.
Nevertheless, I'm inclined to agree with what J told me this afternoon. It's actually kinda scary, come to think of it.
I'm quite positive someone has already told you about it, but looking at things, it seems as though you're sensible enough to know that it isn't true.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you (:
I guess I gotta be careful now.
I never liked baseless assumptions, and I guess I never will.
It implicates innocent people and exaggerates the facts.
Oh wells.Labels: pieces of the puzzle
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airplanes.
The Prelims were disappointing.
This week, it seemed as though all the papers that were returned were slaps across my face. Today was the worst, because I was already mentally prepared for yst's History Paper One.
Irritatingly enough, they didn't count my marks for Paper Two. So imagine the adrenaline rush as I totaled , only to be disappointed.
Turns out that I kinda misread the question for the one I thought could pull me up.
In the end, I couldn't even secure a pass overall. Paper Two was really a tight slap, seriously.
If that wasn't enough, there was GP.
1.5/14 for Short Structured, I could totally kill myself. Esp when the other components were somewhat better.
Back to back, the feeling was uber horrible.
But in 8 weeks, I will make a miracle.
Thanks Jermaine, Regina, Vanessa, Gillian, Jun Zhe, Peter, Marian and all the rest who attempted to cheer me up! <3
At least the day ended on a bright note!
Dinner-ed with Alton at Kovan, and we had a nice time reminiscing all the awesome Lijiang memories.
Y'know what? I miss Group One a super duper ultra mega lot!
Anyway, thanks for the treat, Alton! :D
Mean guy, he was supposed to give Daniel and me a treat for helping him to carry his bag during the Tiger Leaping Gorge trek cause he was ill but now he claims that Daniel has most probably forgotten that he has a treat waiting for him. Hahaha.
We were super full after dinner omg. Hahaha. Trained to Lorong Chuan together, and home sweet home :D
Tmr will suck cause its 4 hours of Econs.
Gosh.Labels: school (:, SRGCE LiJiang (:
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left and right.
Okay, I seriously don't know why I'm freaking out over History Paper 1 results tmr, this just doesn't make any sense at all.
It's just the Prelims, why do I feel as if its the A's?
Weird.
This weekend was a super unproductive one, especially today. I tired doing the 2009 H1 A Levels Math Paper, but I got distracted by the computer. That was before church. After church, I started hyperventilating, and I wasn't in the right state of mind for Math.
Rawr, why's this happening to me?!?
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roppers climbed together on mountainside.
JOKE OF THE DAY, SERIOUSLY.
Especially if I inferred correctly about the author. Anti-thesis to his supposedly meticulous nature.
But, I'm surprisingly nervous about getting back History Paper 1 tmr, I don't know why.
Jermaine's already getting ready to jump off the gallery, and someone else is getting ready to catch her when she falls. Hahah.
Oh wells, I seriously hope I can pass History.Labels: school (:
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will freedom hurt?
I don't know why there's a difference in treatment between my brother and me.
At my age, he could do more things that what I can do now. He can use the house phone past midnight, he could talk into the wee hours of the morning, no one threatened to take his phone away at 11.30pm every night lest he stops using it past midnight, he could go for parties, he can stay out. And he won't be locked outside the house for a certain period of time if he forgot his keys.
Why is it the total opposite for me?
Stop freaking claiming that he's more mature than me, cause it ain't true.
And you can't claim that I need to sleep early to get ready for school. My brother's the one who wakes up/leaves the house at 8am for school back in JC. Mind you, he was in TPJC.
My teachers didn't feedback to you about my punctuality, other than the Early Bird Program shit last year. Cause it ain't as serious as his.
Oh you can stop the nonsense about him knowing what he's doing too. As if I don't. Pfft.
What now, I have to wait until I'm 21? Awesome.Labels: freak; but thats life
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faith, hope & love.
Today, I realised that when certain things happen, there are usually two scenarios.
Some will think of the best that can happen, while some will think of the worst.
That got me thinking and I realized that as much as I wanna deny, more often than not, I think of the best. Yeah, sometimes I scare myself and think of the worst. But seriously, how often does that happen?
Actually, thinking of the worst than can happen does have its benefits in the sense that you think of everything that might happen and its implications, so you're mentally prepared for whatever that might come your way. The impact's somewhat cushioned.
But, I realized I'm someone optimistic. In all things, I always hope for the best. Which is actually a vulnerability. Yeah, you're quick to forgive, that's why people end up stepping over your head and take advantage of you.
I must say that the events in the last quarter of 2009 made me realize this. They jolted me from my little bubble and I realized that the world's not really a nice place, not everyone's as nice as they seem to be. You won't know what's going on in their minds.
My mum used to tell me I'm naive. And I think I still am. I vaguely remember one discussion we had in class during GP about Ethics and Friedrich said that sometimes, I can't be too idealistic and think that people out there share your mentality cause we're living in a selfish world and people are gunning for personal glory, and they'll monster you if possible.
Y'know what I concluded?
This world sucks.Labels: random thoughts
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i'm lovin' it.
Hello!
I'm at Boon Keng's McDonalds nowww! Jermaine just left with Darren, so I'm by my lonesome now. ):
My phone's a bitch, i swear.
The battery kinda died after my 3 hour long phone call last night/early this morning, but I could only charge it this morning cause I neede it as my alarm click. For goodness knows what reason, it look way longer than usual to charge, and here's the worst part. It ended up restarting like free. And when it restarts, part of the battery dies along with it. Rawr.
So here i am, with my SIM card in Jermaine's phone while the two of them are out.
Seriously, math sucks. But then again, what's new?
Especially Statistics.
Bleah.Labels: bleah.
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this i promise you.
I PROMISE I WON'T NOT SLEEP BEFORE ANY EXAMINATION EVER AGAIN.
Look at my Math paper and you'll understand. Seriously, some of what I wrote didn't make sense. For example,
2 = -1/3 + C, C = 0 I can't remember what other rubbish I did, but I know I threw some marks down the freaking drain. Oh wells. At least I gotta be thankful that I didn't do that badly. It just that I didn't do as well as I hoped to. Jermaine! Cheer up, alright! I'm always here if you need someone and you know that. Don't be too sad okayyyyy! There's still the Pre-A's and the A Levels; the Prelim's a mere testing ground. It doesn't determine your A Level grade! Don't be so sad anymore! Seeing you cry makes me wanna cry too ): And Darren Yuen's super irritating, hahahahaha. He saw me hugging Jermaine at the traffic junction and he acted as though he was hugging Kenny, Barry and Jerald. -.-" Juat ate dinner, and I don't think I should sleep before meeting Jermaine for ice-cream later! Cause I predict I won't wake up, heh. Literature lecture was SUPER DUPER ULTRA MEGA RETARDED, I SWEAR. We spent the first 30plus mins doing something totally dumb. - "Wuthering Heights" x 50
- "The Importance of Being Earnest" x 20
- "A belt of straw and ivy buds, / With coral clasps and amber studs; / And if these pleasures may thee move, / Come live with me, and be my love" x 10
- Ernest x 20
- I will spend only 10 mins planning an essay and 50 mins writing it. x 10
- If I write only 2 sides for an essay, I will surely FAIL. x 10
- I will not use 'whereby' and '(I can't rmb the word)' in my essays. x 10
Yes, we wrote lines. -.-" Anyway,
 I guess we can't really judge people based on what we hear huh?
Otherwise, we're negating the fact that they might have changed.
Jermaine, all I can say is that you should just be careful.
I've seen people who change; some for the better and some for the worst.
SRGCE Lijiang was a good example. Two cases, one for each camp.
Just be on your guard alright? Especially since you're so fragile and vulnerable.
xoxo,
Jessica
Labels: school (:
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