worst day I've ever had in ages. I swear.

"yup I used to, but not anymore."
sometimes I really want to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself in there.

i don't care. from this moment forth, I'm gonna be a happy girl. like i used to be.

was at Jasmine's mugging, got home 15 minutes to midnight. fell asleep until my brother woke me up an hour ago to shower. after showering, I no longer feel like studying. NTR midterms at 12nn tmr but I felt an overwhelming urge to pen down my thoughts.
(and I just almost burnt my fingers when I touched the magnetic part of my charger zzz.)

I don't know what to make out of my feelings. the past 4 days have been downright horrible. and it got worse day by day. maybe tmr will be a better day. Fridays always are, somehow. no idea why, maybe it's because i wake up telling myself that it is nothing is set in stone.

maybe i will nap for a while before continuing. Fats and Carbohydrates are boring. okay this damn module is just downright boring.

My life is still in a mess right now. I don't think I did well for the midterms that just took place, and because of the midterms, I screwed up both my diet and my sleeping pattern. And this is only the superficial aspect.

I have no idea why, but when I think about the probability I get a sinking feeling. Not that I should have more faith but somehow you just know when things ain't gonna work out. But in any case I was pretty surprised when you said that sentence yesterday. Feels good to know that everything isn't being taken for granted. Felt reassured, and honestly, I did not see that coming. Kinda warmed my heart actually :')

In any case, I'm open to the possibility, but I'm not counting on it. If it happens, good. If it doesn't, life goes on.

This semester has been different. It's seriously been a roller-coaster ride, filled with multiple ups and downs. Grateful for the people who've stood by me unfalteringly, especially Dionysia. So thankful for her! And for all the other people who have seen me through these 5 weeks; thank you for making school more bearable. So glad that I get to see some people regularly, so grateful that I always have company in between classes!

In other news, saw my eye-candy when I went for my paper that day! Prolly one of the first people I noticed, seeing as how I was barely paying attention to my surroundings. Had no idea that he was seated directly behind me until we were about to begin. Day was made, even though there were only a few hours of it left teehee.

Oh and my freshies were looking for me today, and I told them where my class was. They looked into the LT and asked me thereafter if I was seated at a particular spot. Thought they managed to locate me amongst all the backs, but apparently they guessed that I would be there cause they spotted C "every time I see C in class, I know that you will be there too!" Seriously -.-" Told them it doesn't happen all the time, to which they went, "yar it happens 99% of the time." Oh gosh. Crossing my fingers and praying that they don't start, cause word travels and most of them are aware of what's going on. Save me someone.

Yes it might not be possible but it doesn't mean that feelings will not surface. Really dislike the fact that I was trained to read between the lines and make inferences, cause I tend to read too deep sometimes.

Proximity. Is this going to work in my favour? Earlier today, I wondered about its existence. If it doesn't exist, all these worrying and what not becomes redundant. But since I felt a tinge of sadness when I read the lines and pieced them together, does this mean that deep down, there is something? This has never been my forte, and it prolly will never be. 

On a scale of 1-10, how deep into this am i? I really have no idea. Y'know, I was hoping it would be me, but I kinda doubt it. And after what I read just now, I'm partially convinced that I know who the mysterious person is. Then again, it might just be my Lit/History instincts kicking in.

Wide awake now, but brain absorbency is at an all time low. Not very helpful since I've a quiz early tmr morning. Not forgetting the fact that Tuesdays are absolute hell: full day of classes plus tuition.

Le sigh.

wishing it is, but knowing deep down that it isn't.

sigh, this always happens.

I think I tend to pay too much attention during instances like these, so much so that I read beneath the non-existent lines. Only time will tell I guess.

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea why this is happening.