magical stardust ☺
J.
"an attempt to make sense of and articulate the thoughts running through my head."
♥ bold italic strikeout underline♡
TAGBOARD.
PEEKTURES.
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with love, forever more.
Honestly, I feel super duper ultra mega blessed to have girlfriends who're always here for me no matter what shit I go through.
They're willing to go the extra mile just to help me;
they cheer me up whenever I'm down;
they scold me whenever they see that I'm on the wrong track;
they nag at me (like old grandmothers) out of concern.
Yeah, we may not talk for a few months, but when we do, it feels like the old times all over again. I rmb one time when I went over to Cheryl's place to return her the hair-straightener I borrows for Prom; we ended up talking by the roadside for over one hour (:
Cheryl, Yun Jia, Grace, Charmaine, Jasmine, Regina, Constance & Vanessa; thanks for everything! Love you all till the cows come homeeeeeeeeee~
P.S. Jasmine, hurry come back from Thailand please! And stay safe!Labels: i love my friends :)
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the internet.
The Internet;
awesome source of information;
a student's best friend.
Sometimes, it might turn out to be much hated too.
It's the best place for misunderstandings to develop;
the best place to stalk people;
the easiest place to get stalked.
Ah, no one said the Internet was safe to begin with.
Hi XXX, I know you're reading this.I may appear not to know, but don't forget that I'm a History and Literature student. I can interpret (verbal & audio) sources and analyse them. Not like you don't already know that I have a tendency to read deeply into somethings.
Not forgetting the fact that you gave yourself away a couple of times!
And you can add in the fact that I'm smart too luh :D
HELLO! :D Labels: its a good day.
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super duper ultra mega.
I'm a happy kid todayyyyy!
Took half-day leave today to get my GCE appraisal from Mr Ang with Constance, and we managed to catch Vanessa during her lunch break! (Y)
Met JiaHui too, the J1 councilors had their R&E today. I kinda lost contact with my Guides juniors heh. I was quite shocked when she said hi to me on Results Day :)
Saw Miss Zeenat and Mr Kok too, and Mr Kok gave us this flyer for a 5km Nike charity run. I wanna run run run! :D
Met Grace & Gran at Serangoon Post Office to post our documents, and the next few hours sucked cause I was so worried about my phone. And seriously, the Singtel shop @ Nex sucks ttm. Always provides wrong info, i made a wasted trip to Raffles Place today -.-" Their directions wasn't clear, nvm. When I reached, I asked around for directions to the Singtel shop, only to be told that it's no longer there. What's this, seriously. I bought my iPhone from that shop too, and the staff gave me wrong information, resulting in my SIM being locked even before I started using it -.-"
Ah anw, decided to head to the Singtel shop over at Bugis, and the guy couldn't help, he referred me to the Apple HelpDesk at the Singtel Comcentre over at Somerset.
The staff there managed to get my phone up and running again! (Y)
Satisfied my craving for Rice Burger, randomly decided to get Super Dog's ice-cream cone :D
Walked from 313 all the way to Orchard Station so I could finish my ice-cream; it's been ages since I walked the streets of town so freely. Awesome feeling!
And, SMU replied my email! I can send the amendments i wanna make to my application to them via email! Happy happy :D
Oh my Echofon notifications are working properly again! (Y)
See why I'm a happy girl today?
Plus I'm meeting the person Facebook declared to be my best friend for 2011 tmr after work!
Awesomeeeeeeeee~
dear God,
thank you for today, thanks for all the joy experienced.
thank you for allowing me to look beyond all the imperfections of today and be happy.
xoxo, Jessica Labels: HAPPY MEALS ARE FOR HAPPY GIRLS. LIKE JESSICA. ;D, its a good day.
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the death.
I think my life is uber awesome.
My phone died. SUDDENLY. Initially I thought it wasnt anything major when the button refused to work; it happens sometimes. Then I realized the lock button was spoilt too. Asked Const to call me, and apparently it was ringing on her end, but there was no reaction from my phone.
Off-ed it, removed SIM card, but i couldn't turn it back on. Awesome max.
Went to the Singtel shop at NEX, they said I'm supposed to go to the CSC at Raffles Place. Gah, this sucks.
You know what the best part is?
1. I didn't back up all my stuff.
2. MY CONTACTS ARE NOT ON MY SIM CARD.
I'm glad I have my contacts on my (superduperultramega screwed) Ericsson phone. At least I still have my contacts. With the exception of the work mates. But all my messages etc, omg.
I'm screwed, really.
*crosses fingers and hopes everything will be alright when I go to the CSC @ Raffles Place later*
And yay I found my mp3! Full batt :DLabels: freak; but thats life
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THIS SUCKS. I FORGOT THAT I HAD ANY AWARDS FOR GUIDES. WHEN I FINALLY REMEMBERED, I REALIZED THAT SMU DOESN'T ALLOW US TO EDIT OUR APPLICATIONS. AWESOME POSSUM, REALLY.
GOLD AWARD SOMEMORE -.-''
PLUS NYAA SILVER AWARD.
OMG CAN SOMEONE JUST KILL ME PLEASE
SERIOUSLY, I NEVER KNEW I WAS THIS SMART.
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long-lost.
For the first time in 4 months, I stepped out the house yst wearing a T-shirt, FBTs, slippers while carrying a harversack & donning my Baby-G watch. I totally felt like a kid all over again, for some weird reason. :D
Macs-ed for lunch with Const, and it's been ages since I last ate lunch at Macs for over an hour. Caught up while eating (it hasn't been long since we last met anw), and haha she was doing a live commentary on the little kids we saw, along with all their cutesy little actions.
Cycling was awesome, felt good to be working out the muscles of mine that've turned stiff after my office job. But my butt's aching now. Benefit & cost theory luh, hahaha.
Parkway Parade-ed thereafter to walk around and dinner; that place's pretty much still the same although I haven't gone there for almost 2 years. Unlike many other places, don't go there for half a year a boom, almost everything changes.
Oh and we saw many cute little children too! :D Kids are becoming cuter, really. Or maybe we're losing all our baby fat, to the extent that we're increasingly attracted to those who possess these long lost features of ours.
Woke up early just now, submitted my applications, it feels great to be freed from this cumbersome task.
SIM.. Gah I'll just wait.
(Honestly, I don't really wanna go to SIM :/)
Sudden craving for Hotcakes just now, but by the time I finished printing all the documents, it was 10 to 12noon. Brisked walked uber fast to Macs, got my Hotcakes meal and made it back home all under 20 mins, waiting time at Macs inclusive. And I attribute my uber fast walking speed to ODAC! Heh <3Labels: HAPPY MEALS ARE FOR HAPPY GIRLS. LIKE JESSICA. ;D, ODAC is love (:, university applications.
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frenzy.
iPhones can get detestable at times.I totally hate it when I accidentally press the call button, but when I realize it, I'm somehow unable to cancel the call in time. And it always gets through. Urgh. Oh when I say detest, I mean really really detest. Anw, I was wondering why I looked slightly weirder than usual and I realized I'm slightly burnt. Ironic much, the Sun was barely out today. And I can't stand how ODAC Great Hike 2009 made me ultra vulnerable to the Sun, I get burnt easily. Not for long, but it still sucks. Sigh. I should prolly get to bed now, I wanna wake up early tmr to submit my Uni applications. My brother's seriously annoying at times, really. He didn't wanna let me use the comp cause he was using the power plug to charge his laptop and apparently I can't use the multiple socket thingy cause there will be a high voltage or some shit. Urgh.
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empty state.
Honestly, how does this even happen? First, you drift apart from someone; you know that things will never be the same again. You don't feel comfortable divulging your secrets to this person anymore. Then sometimes, you just get damn pissed at this person. To the extent that you need to rant. But amazingly enough, you can't help but miss this person a hell lot. You told yourself you'd let the friendship remain status quo, but you cant help thinking about it. You tried your best to ignore the feeling, but you realized it's hard. You convinced yourself that things would be alright, but in reality, you just need this person, even though things are no longer the same. It's even worse when the other person seems oblivious to it all. Urgh. What am I supposed to do now? Sigh, I miss you. Labels: i'll never be able to fully comprehend.
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merriment.
THE WEEKEND IS FINALLY HERE! After like seventeen million years D:
This week has been uber depressing, I absolutely detest working on the 10:30am to 8pm shift; it's really depressing. And I've been uber worn out after work everyday, at least I finally managed finish my essays for Uni application tonight (Y)
That aside, the natural disasters happening all around the world are seriously starting to scare the shit out of me. And yes, I can't tell you how grateful I am to be living in Singapore, a place geographically safe from most natural disasters.
And I'm gonna bask myself with Vitamin D tmr, oh gosh you have no idea how awesome the thought is, after being cooped up in the office the entire week.
Best part of it all? I'm going cycling with Constance!
Eggcited muchhh! :D
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uni applications #2
It scares me to hear how people have been accepted and I'm still stuck, not knowing how to make my essay stand out. Anw, congrats Constance! ♥ Thanks for offering to help make my essays sound intellectual too! Love you till the cows come home! (: She's damn sweet luh, I told her I'm envious of her and she replied, Nooo please don't! I'll still be all yours no matter which unis we go to. (: Just know that. Urgh, I wanna get into Uni tgt with you too! *fingers crossed* Labels: university applications.
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Uni applications #1
So. I figured I'd get down to writing my essays today. Looked at the SMU question, hmmm rather simple, figured I'd start with that.
Describe the highlights of your most impt achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent, please include them as well.
And then I started wondering; what on earth is my biggest achievement?!
ODAC VP & GCE CIP seems to fit the bill, but then again they seem cliche-ish. Ah, I'll just try my best luh.
Gosh, this sucks big time. Esp when the essays are my ONLY ticket into Uni, cause my grades are (fill in the blanks). Labels: university applications.
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dare to be different.
 Sigh, it sucks to see your beloved CCA turn from bad to worse. Yes, I'd be frank and admit that we were over ambitious last year when we wanted a large number of J1s. In the end, the new EXCO couldn't cope; that was the beginning of the downfall. I've heard stories about what happened, and the feeling wasn't good. Order of the WillRun tees got freaking screwed all thanks to the supplier, ODAC took the blame. Unfair much, but that's life. No one bothers to find out the root cause, they're just damn quick to point the finger. Okay, it was partially their fault too, but to be honest, 25% ODAC , 75% supplier. Reputation went down the drain, sigh.
You don't know how sucky it feels to hear insults being dished out at your CCA, but part of you knows that the people are prolly right. :/
RuiHan tried to improve things this year, and from what he told me, things are getting better :)
J1s this year ain't too bad, that's another plus point.
Then I hear that ODAC's merging with Health & Fitness. Seriously?! -.-"
Unbridge, I shall give you the benefit of doubt. Maybe it's for the greater good. I shall not be too quick to judge. Please prove me wrong.
Sigh, I really miss ODAC. Not just the 22nd batch, but just how ODAC used to be.
Come what may, I'll always remember ODAC as a huge family, never lacking in warmth and love.
Yes, SR ODAC's prolly nothing when put beside other JC's ODAC. But y'know what, I don't care. I really don't. Stop bragging about all the things you guys do. I'm not interested, really. Maybe you can share them with someone who's genuinely interested.
Okay sorry, I'm not in a good mood today. I think it's just the weather. :/ Labels: ODAC is love (:, SR memories.
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blues clues.
 Mondays are always depressing. I felt uber worn out today; ironic cause I slept alot over the weekend. So, I was being damn cranky at work today, and it didn't help that the Filipino guy that sat 2 work stations away from me was pissing me off big time. He was talking super duper ultra mega loudly, he sounded like a girl, and he loves singing to himself. It didnt help that his voice didn't go well with my ears. Urgh. At least Wilson popped by work today! :D Caught up a little, and my mood perked up a little too! But aye, he's another annoying fella. Wilson: How were your results?
Me: Bad.
Wilson: Aiya, SR what, expected! SR people all cannot make it one! Stupid idiot luh, he and his stereotypes HAHAH. Qoo boy, tsk. I think there's smth in the name Wilson. All the Wilsons I know are annoying people. Seriously, haha. But fun to be with luh, that I don't deny. And I think all Wilsons have smth against me, really. It's just me D: I think I'll have an early night tonight. And I told daddy I'd get the essays for Uni done by this week, and I really wanna get it over and done with. Uni apps are such a hassle. Sigh.
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compromise.
It feels as though I've only had 3 hours of sleep.
Urgh, this is BAD.
Y'know what's a frienemy? You feel like one to me.
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like there's no tmr.
So much for saying I'd get down to writing the essays for Uni application tonight.
Met Short Girl at night; and I ate the exact same thing twice today. All because I was stoning when she was talking to me and my thought processes went hay-wire. D:
Tiring day, but I had fun. And that's all that matters (:
Working out tmr morning before work, on the account that my Short Girl successfully manages to get me out of bed.
Goodnight!Labels: HAPPY MEALS ARE FOR HAPPY GIRLS. LIKE JESSICA. ;D, its a good day.
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from the rising of the sun.
Breakfast with Vanessa, Yong Siong and Nina was awesome, even though we just sat and caught up with one another. Times spent with ODACians always puts a smile on my face and sometimes, the smile remains there for more than one day :) I wasn't exaggerating when I said that ODAC was one of the best things that happened to me in SR. Perhaps it's actually the best. USS with them on the 9th of April, oh gosh I really cannot wait! :D Even bb thinks there's smth going on btw N and me. Why, bb? Why? Nothing nothing, really. Cross my heart and hope to die if I lie. Labels: ODAC is love (:
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firework.
 Work mates! :D Lazy Saturday, contemplated if I should head to work to clear all my cases, but decided against it in favour of sleep and Uni applications. Planned to catch Unknown with Reg, but the seats left sucked, and we were lazy. Supposed to meet Ness to pass her my History files and get the NUS brochures, but out timings clashed. In the end, I slept the afternoon away. And I'm still tired. Had a major craving for frozen yogurt and fries after waking up, contemplated heading to Nex, but laziness got the better of me. Whats new? My brain hasn't been in the mood to generate an essay for Uni applications, and this is bad. I read through the summary for Business courses over at SIM and I literally died. There's no way I'd survive in Business, really. Too much structure, which doesn't go well with me. Which explains why I'm an Arts kid. Besides, the modules are so not me. Urgh. Yeah, practical, but I can't go through 3 whole years of smth I detest. Oh well, guess its either Sociology/Communications at SIM for me. Daddy reminded me not to consider the costs (Y). There's nothing much for an Arts kid at SIM, I realized. Why's the world biased against Arts people? Look at the ratio of courses in Uni available for us. Bleah. Okay, I really need to force myself to write my essays. No more procrastination. This sucks. ): At least I'm meeting Vanessa, Nina, Yong Siong and hopefully Miss Liu for breakfast tmr! :D P.S. Short girl, I miss you! Labels: its a good day.
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never.
Hey J, if you're reading this, thank you.
Thanks for reminding me about my devotion, I think I've parked it in a far away corner and I actually forgot about it (wth right, I knowww).
Honestly, I'm thankful for people like J who constantly reminds me of His presence and dwelling amongst us.
Love you dear! <3
P.S weren't we supposed to meet up ages ago? haha our next time after Sentosa never came ):
Dear God,
Thank You for Christian girlfriends.
xoxo, Jessica Labels: thank you Lord (:
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night sky.
Sometimes, I think I tend to read too much into things.
Things people say and do, the silence after you say smth to them.
Pins your hopes high up. Then again, these hopes tumble down to rock bottom at the exact same speed and timing it took for it to get up there.
Sucks, ain't it?
Sometimes, it's just so annoying; realizing that you're not the only one. And you start to wonder if you're just another face in the crowd, another person to talk to, another one of the seventeen thousand people.
But.
What if it wasn't right all along? What if it really is what I've been telling people all along;
that its merely an extended form?
Y'know what, I really don't know.
Maybe?
Maybe not?
I guess I'll never know. Although truth to be told, I'd love to find out.
*Pauses all the thoughts/emotions running through my mind*
I need to get myself in bed in a couple of mins time, I'll continue thinking tmr; on the basis that my thought processes are properly frozen.
Friday is finally here! :D Labels: i'll never be able to fully comprehend.
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guys.
Sigh, guys will be guys huh.
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wish upon a star.
Urgh, I still cannot make up my mind.
Should I do what I know I like, even though it probably isn't very practical?
:/
I wouldn't want to regret not pursuing this in the future, but thoughts of having little career options in the future are worrying.
Aye.
- Grace Really, idk. Everytime I think I've made up my mind about forgoing the course, I'm haunted by the fact that its smth I like and I'd enjoy. Plus the fact that I might end up hating what I'm putting as second choice. Or, should I just forgo that ultra expensive degree and give the subject that's intertwined with my second choice course a second chance? Just like how I gave History a second chance 2 years ago? It doesn't help that the application for the desired course's closing this Friday. Practicality vs interest? I wish I knew.
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wonder woman.
Yes I promised myself that in Uni, I'm not gonna torture myself by studying smth I don't like. But is there room for negotiation? Esp when you're faced with 2 opposing courses. Course A: - Practical in future - $30,000 smth - potentially torture me due to modules Course B - smth I'm interested in - $64,200 - useful in future? Really, idk. And the closing date for Course B is this Friday. I know I should take A, even though my dad said I should ignore the costs when I choose. Then again, I know i have to do smth that interests me, and I'm not even sure if A interests me. But what if I take B and end up doing smth not related to it in future? Won't it be a waste of money? How now, brown cow?
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random by nature.
 Random meetup with Grace after work today! I got my bag and hair dryer; she got her portable charger. And we got Haato ice cream too! Pitaschio (sp?) & Chocolate Banana totally rocks my socks (Y) As much as I don't like Nex, I gotta admit, it has a lot of shops. Comes in handy whenever you need smth! Work's totally insane; it's the dunning period. More calls; more inbox cases. Dunning period = high call queues = customers email in if they can't call through = flooding of inbox = heavy workload that cannot be shared with the Inbound team due to high call queues = horrible terrible vegetable = sadgirl92.
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letter.
Dear Mummy,
Its okay if you think I didn't put in effort for my A's.
At the end of the day, it's my life. After 19 years of this shit, I've learnt not to let what you say put me down. Cause it'll just make me worse.
I know you didn't support my JC decision. But what's done, has already been done.
I guess I don't have to waste my breath explaining what happened during the A's; you'll ask me not to give excuses. Fine, you think it's bad. Y'know what, I really don't care. Suit yourself.
All that matters is that I know I tried my best (except for Math).
I'm wondering if the day that you stop criticizing me and accept me for who I am will ever come.
But I guess I gotta thank you in some way cause you've made me the person I am today. Because of you, I think I'm a stronger person. I'm persistent in the midst of criticism, and I only wave the white flag after I've exhausted all possibilities.
xoxo,
Jessica.
Labels: freak; but thats life
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regrets?
SIM-ed today, and somehow, it felt damn unreal. Idk why, but the feeling sucked.
It's like I really don't know what course I'll be taking, I really pray and hope I get into the 3 local Unis.
The course I wanna take is available at SIM, but it's a freaking $64,000 plus for 4 years.
I thought of Tourism, but then it's only a Diploma. Same goes for Political Science at SIM. Rawr, so I guess I'm starting to consider Business (with as little Econs as possible).
Sometimes I look back at life and can't help but feel regretful at some things.
First would definetly be the Nike Run. That was really the main cause of all the shit that happened, cause I fell sick after running. Honestly sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I did not run, would all that happened not happen? Would I have approached the A's more calmly?
Idk if I should be thankful that the run was the catalyst that pushed all the germs out to the frontline before the A's commenced, at least it wouldn't accumulate and attack me midway through my A's.
Second, the sleep sacrificed on the eve of History Paper One and Math.
I guess it was my sleep that affected my performance for Math, cause I know the paper was do-able, easy if you were to ask for my honest opinion. As per what Miss Ng told me previously, carelessness is my only downfall, and that happens whenever I'm not in the right state of mind. I guess the 2.5hours of sleep compromised my A huh.
Then another thought occured to me: the amount of sleep sacrificed to study for History; did it bring about positive results? I kinda think it did, cause I think Paper One was the one that saved my ass for History.
The other day Mr Ong was trying to find out the trend/reason people get the grade they got. He realized that I got my C only cause I did 3 questions, and when he did the calculations, I had a 18/19 mark average for my 3 essays per paper. Which FYI, is an A.
To be honest, I kinda wished he didn't let me know cause I really felt like killing myself. An A for History was what I yearned for all along. To think that at the end of the day, I was capable of actually achieving my dream. But I decided to be the genius I am, and I screwed up my chance.
Trust me, that thought ruined my entire weekend. And that was after crying my heart out on Friday, and feeling a lot better.
Part of me wished that he calculated and kept it to himself, cause it made me feel worse. Yes, I know I should be proud of myself. Then again its the usual, "what if".
That day, I told him what happened and what he replied made a hell lot of sense. Somehow or other, I'd make that realization one day. And, most prolly it was my essays that pulled me up, after the 'disaster'. My SBQ for Paper Two was utterly atrocious, I misinterpreted the hypothesis. Smart or what? We were talking about the SBQ after the paper and which sources belonged to which camp, etc. I told him what one camp was, to which he went, "huh are you serious?" At that point in time, although he didn't explicitly spell it out, I knew I was doomed. He got scared and tried to keep it from me, seeing as how I needed to give my best for my remaining 2 H2s, and letting me know would only give me more reason to retake, smth he didn't want. But I guess it was too obvious to hide. Misinterpreting the hypothesis is an outright death railway, and yes, come to think of it, this made me more appreciative of the quality of my other questions that totally saved my ass.
Yes, it's not the destination that matters, but it's the process. Looking at these, my C for History never tasted sweeter, really.
Then I wondered: if I slept instead of studying for History, I might have gotten my A for Math. But, would my History grade have been compromised to a D or even an E? Possibly. Comparatively, I'd choose my current Cs in favour of an A for Math and D/E for History. So. All things happen for a reason? Yea I'm more convinced of it recently.
Regrets? Idk, really.
I guess I should just move on with life. Things happen for a reason.
I screwed up my Math and English paper during the O's, I attained 4 points more than I intended. But now, I can't tell you how glad I am that I screwed up, cause the screw ups brought me to SRJC, and I never regretted my decision. I'm glad I never made it to SA/CJ/NY, cause I met people in SR that changed my life.
At the end of the day, I guess I should stop regretting and just accept things. Yes, life could have been better, I could have lived up to expectations and gotten my A for History and Math. But the fact is that I didn't, and that's that. No point crying over spilt milk. Its time to look for the next mountain to conquer.
I haven't exactly spoken about my results to anyone apart from close friends, work mates and the 2 teachers, I hope I'll finally be able to hold my head up high and speak about it as an achievement instead of a disappointment.
Alright, time to head to bed, NTU-ing tmr before meeting the ODACians for Timbre (:
Labels: no turning back.
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second chances.
The movie the other day made me think alot about life, and the things that take place.
Choice vs fate; which ideology do you subscribe to? I guess its intertwined with your religion too, and whether or not you believe in a divine being up there who's watching over us and planning out all the moments in our life.
And really, all things do happen for a reason, not that I didn't already believe in it. Be it good or bad, nothing happens without a purpose. Even wars, tsunamis, natural disasters, freak accidents, yes. Nothing happens by chance. Or maybe, a little. Like how the two people in the movie crossed paths that day by chance. But at the end of the day, fate works everything out.
It's just like Adam Smith's invisible-hand theory (reminds me of Economic Nationalism yuck, the most detestable topic in the H2 History syllabus), there's always a mechanism to iron out all the wrongs to make them right all over again.
At times, this thought's scary. Like how your future's already planned out for you so come what may, you'll end with A, even though the sight of it makes you wanna flush it down the toilet bowl. I made this realization 2 years ago when I was choosing my subject combination in SR; I was contemplating if I should disregard my utmost hatred for History and put History/Econs/Lit & Math as my first choice, or try my luck at Science in JC and put Chem/Math/Econs & Lit as my first choice. I remember thinking about it the entire night and realized that no matter what, God's in control, and no matter what I put as my first choice, He'll put me in the course He knows is right for me.
Although yeah, sometimes we're just so damn stubborn, we wanna do things our way. Miracles do happen; that I don't deny. So we should always persevere on no matter what, even if it seems like the whole world is against you. You'll never know; one day our persistence might move the heart of the person with the Master Plan of our lives, and he might edit our plan. So ultimately we should just keep our options open and try our very best no matter what, cause honestly, the future is bleak and filled with uncertainties. Expect the unexpected, that's all I can say.
Come what may, we should never lose hope, because there is no such thing as pure chance. Everything will work out fine, you may question at that point in time, but a few years down the road, you'll look back and truly appreciate all the shit that you've been through, cause they brought you where you are today.
xoxo,
Jessica
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roll back.
 I love today :D Caught The Adjustment Bureau with Nelson, nice show I must say, but kinda scary, come to think of it. Then again, it reminds us that if we're persistent enough, fate might alter in our favour (: Back to SR to meet Jermaine and Mr Ong, supposedly to have consultation about Uni applications etc over dinner at Din Tai Fung. But the short girl apparently had family dinner, so we ended up going to Compass Point. Somehow or other, her family dinner never took place -.-" And along the way the 2 of them were arguing about the difference btw a garden and a field OMG. Instead of talking about Uni stuff over dinner, we ended up talking a whole load of rubbish at Ajisen. Jermaine's still as blur as before luh, Mr Ong and me had a good time laughing at her HAHA. Makes me miss all the consultations the 3 of us had tgt last year from 7.30pm to 9pm uber badly. They made studying more fun, really. Cause there was always smth to look forward to at the end of a sucky school day (: In the end, we stood in the middle of Compass Point to talk about Uni stuff before parting ways, retarded or what -.-" So now, idk. Prolly heading to SIM's Open House to look see before deciding next. At least I kinda know the direction I'm heading towards alr! Retaking's prolly gonna be cancelled off my list of options. 1. I can't bear to take Lit again. 2. Rather risky, idk what weird shit questions Cambridge's gonna come up with. 3. I might not do much better. 4. I've to pay for my own fees D: 5. A gazillion people are against the idea. Mr Ong has been against the idea right from the day after History Paper One when I told him my intentions. He even went to the extent and banned me from retaking -.-" The work-mates were telling me the other day to just move on; quite stupid to waste one year. Miss Liu's been telling Mr Ong not to allow me to retake too, and just now he kept chanting, "Tell Jessica cannot retake, tell Jessica cannot retake." seventeen million times lol. So yeah :/ Oh and StarBucks has new designs for their tumblers! I'm deciding btw theirs and Ben & Jerry's D: Went to J's place to collect my stuff that I lent her damn long ago, cam-whored at the same time too! Long time since we did that :D Cabbed home cause I missed the last train (intentionally), and the driver went on and on about the stupid govt, money, their overly successful 2+2 policy and how Singapore's getting populated by more Malays and foreigners -.-" Work tmr, gah. And idk why, people are talking about me & Nelson being tgt ZOMG. Like hello, that's not possible please. And I better head to lalaland like now, since my hair's dry. Did I mention how much I detest work? :O Labels: its a good day.
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sunny yellow banana day!
 Today feels like a good day! :D Woke up late this morning, called in sick. Which isn't exactly a lie cause I had a mini headache too. After getting my MC, I'm gonna meet up with Nelson (who coincidentally called in sick too), catch a movie, head to SR to meet Jermaine and pass Vanessa my History file and have dinner at Din Tai Fung! DAYS LIKE THESE FEEL AWESOME (: Labels: its a good day.
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mystery.
I don't get people.
Why does everyone focus only on all the negative aspects and neglect the positive aspects of life?
When someone does wrong, why do people criticize the fault so damn much and ignore all the good deeds done by the same person?
Why are people so quick to judge, so quick to point the finger at someone?
Why do people take great pride in criticizing instead of forgiving? Is faith and trust that hard to acquire? Aren't you appreciative of everything you have?
Don't you ever reflect on life's goodness?
Somehow, I can't seem to get over it. It seems so unbelievable; really.
Honestly, is it so hard to believe that all things happen for a reason, and that ultimately every thing works out for the greater good?
Then and then, you complain about it, you wonder why life is so unfair, you wonder why these happened to someone like you. In the long run, don't you ever look back and feel grateful for all the shit cause they made you become who you are today?
It's sad.
All things happen for a reason, never ever forget that my friend.
Tonight's a bad night, really.
Labels: i'll never be able to fully comprehend.
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learning points.
After the results, I made certain realizations.
Instead of constantly wanting to be on top of the world and feeling immense disappointment when you don't reach your target, think about where you started from, think about the achievements you've made along the way and instead of wishing you were at the top, look at how far you've come, appreciate the improvement.
So should I be thankful for what I scored?
Yes I should.
There isn't any use brooding about the past when you've given it your best shot. Even if you did it again, you're just gonna be relying largely on luck. Which isn't a very reliable benchmark for your inner potential.
Okay confession time; I didn't work hard for Math. That was today's greatest shock, really. I neglected it in favour of History and Econs, and I paid the price for it.
So, did I try my best last Nov? Yes, with the exception of Math; and things happened for History, smth we can't control.
Therefore, should I move on?
Yes I should.
If your grades suck and you want to re-take the papers, think it through first. Can your current grades get you anywhere? If yes, go for it. Why waste one year on smth just for the sake of enhancing its physical appearance?
Should I try to make the most of my current cert? Yes I should.
Credits: Mr Ong, Mr Wong/Miss Liu and Regina.Labels: no turning back.
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results day.
Super emotional day today; I swear I never cried so much before in my entire life.
To the people who comforted me today, thank you so very much, idk how I'd have gone through today without you people, and special mentions to the following people (esp the first 3):
1. Regina
2. Mr Ong
3. Vanessa
4. Constance
5. YunJia
6. Cheryl
7. Serene
8. JunZhe
9. Gillian
10. Jermaine
11. Miss Liu
12. Michelle
13. Ona
Thanks for all the texts to encourage and cheer me up, sorry that I wasn't in the right state of mind to reply you guys.
Yes, I'm alot better now (:
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ancient of days.
 You know the feeling you have when you somehow feel at ease, when you know that everything's gonna be okay?
Yeah, I somehow have that feeling right now.
Some annoying person asked me to pass him smth tmr. I was afraid it'd slip my mind, so i asked him to remind me today. Yst, he asked me to remind him/refresh his memory on what he told me he'd remind me to do. -.-"
Up till just now, he still didnt know. Ah but yeah don't worry, I totally uds you; you're just ageing. HAHAHA.
2.5hours of work tmr, stupid max. Just so that the % of calls answered won't be that atrocious -.-"
Ah, but it beats worrying like crap about my results luh.
And I'm meeting Gillian after she books out too! (Y)
Right now, I hope I can fall asleep soon. I need to wake up in 4 hour's time, bleah.
Retarded luh, all I did was to share a Grande Vanilla Latte with YunJia just now, and coffee chooses to have a maximum impact on me tonight, when I really wanted to sleep.
Labels: its a good day.
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bitches galore.
Awesome time with the girls at Margarita's yst, it's been ages since all 5 of us hung out tgt as a clique.
We were under the impression that the shuttle service was operational until midnight (all thanks to Cheryl HAHA) so we were just cam-whoring at the bus stop while waiting, until someone spotted the bus schedule and we realized we were stranded on Dempsey Hill -.-"
Walked out to the main road, and boy, it felt like odac all over again; bashing through the unknowns HAHA. Just that this time, it was a group of girls in dresses and heels.
Ah, but we all had fun in the end! And we're eagerly anticipating Carrissa's trip to Singapore in April, whereby it'll really be a Happy Bitches reunion (:
Pictures up when my comp stops being a bitch! :DLabels: its a good day.
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your light will shine when all else fades.
Initially, I managed to convince myself that everything's gonna be okay.
But when I saw the official announcement yesterday, I literally freaked out. I guess all these while, I've pretty much put up a strong front. And trust me, it was uber convincing, to the extent that I myself was convinced that 4th March 2011 would just be another day.
Okay to be honest, I'm really damn scared.
Of late, I've been doubting myself. Esp History. You don't know how worrying it is when your bestest best subject was utterly screwed and you only attempted (properly) questions amounting to 75% of the total score. And you were aiming for an A. Now, the vibe you get is that there's a possiblity that you'll fail.
Somehow there's this fear that I'll fail History;
Somehow there's this fear that I was super duper ultra mega careless for Math and I ended up throwing my A away;
Somehow there's this fear that what I wrote for Lit isn't analytical enough.
W asked yst if I was excited about Friday -.-"
Only crazily retardedly smart RJ kids like him would, seriously.
Ah okay, I'm not going to think about the results anymore. And, work sucks big time ):
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