Our conversation went smth like this:

ScottCharles: Jessie are you sick?
Me: HUH. No. Why?
ScottCharles: Oh, cause you always seem to be sick.
Me: Where got! Only that period of time when I was sick for quite long!

Less than a week after that conversation took place, I'm sick. Pfft.
I hate being sick, it's so annoying. Let's hope this bout of flu isn't serious.

Visited the CCA Fair today, and I kinda not feel like joining any CCA. At least for this semester. Feel like just concentrating and getting myself acclimatized to Uni life first. Although yeah, I wanna make new friends too. Guess that'll have to wait. Going for Frisbee with A though. Just to accompany her and try things out. Although.. Slim chance la huh.

OG mates're saying that I'm a good-girl-gone-bad. Hmph, I'm still a good girl okayxz.

One thing I hate about UB? EVERYTHING IS GRADED. Even homework. Sucks like shit, cause you can't slack at all. Oh and I officially threw 10% of my Socio module into the Mediterranean Sea. Tikam-ed most of the mid-term questions and today, I learnt that there's usually the Textbook vs Common Sense debate. 'According to the textbook, the answer is A. But based on common sense, the answer is B.' Good luck to me seriously, I based majority of my answers on common sense. How was I to know the content in the textbook wasn't on the same frequency as common sense?

At least my other modules are okay. [or so I think]   

When i saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. 

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' 

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. 

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' 

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? 

Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. 

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

It's amusing how bumping into certain people can keep my spirits high for the entire day :D :D :D

And I'm not going to take the 11:30am 52 bus anymore. It came slightly later than usual, the bus moved alot slower than usual today, and my ride took longer than usual today. Maybe it's just because there were more alot people on the bus today and the bus couldn't go as quickly as it used to (okay weird theory, I know). Kinda late for class as a result; you have no idea how thankful I am that she only took attendance after I stepped into class.

Socio Mid-Terms tmr, sigh.
G'night everyone.

And to the NUS people, hang in there and stop harboring thoughts of dropping out of school/changing course alrighty! Just do your best :)

Thought today would be a happy day, seeing as how I saw the Eye Candy and totally enjoyed lessons today. Until just now.

Confronted her about dinner yesterday, and she claims she bought my share, only to have eaten it cause I was asleep. And she hurriedly asked my dad to back me up. Woman, I so do not buy your story. Firstly, daddy was silent. Normally, he butts in if he sees the need to. Secondly, why do you need someone to justify your actions? You ain't a kid who has to ask for permission before eating. Lastly, please do not forget that I heard the conversation. Unless I heard wrongly. But truth be told, I highly doubt it.

Y'know what? I'm truly disgusted. Why can't you freaking admit your mistake that you didn't even buy my dinner? Rather than cook up some story to cover up the fact that you're a freaking biased mum.
Come'on, your daughter ain't 3. I'm 19 coming 20, and I've seen enough of the world to be able to discern fact from fiction. Plus this ain't a one-time off incident please.

So much for teaching me to be honest, yet you blatantly lie to your own daughter.
Please, practice what you preach.

It's really ironic that I feel more love from those outside the family than the warmth I feel within. If there's any to begin with.

I'm really disappointed with you, mummy.

In times like these, I really wonder how many children my mum thinks she has.

First, they went for F's funeral wake without telling me. Okay, maybe she thought I had assignments to rush. Which is true. But she could go to my brother's room and talk to his girlfriend and say bye, while being totally oblivious to my presence. She didn't even say bye. And our rooms are only opposite. Okay, maybe that's normal for her.

Took a nap, and I was woken up by the noise they made when they came back. They bought dinner, even my brother's girlfriend had a share. Roughly heard my dad saying something about me, to which my mum replied, 'but she's sleeping.' And my dad went, 'earlier on leh?'
Had my suspicions, thought that maybe I was thinking too much, prolly when they went to the wake people asked about me. Went back to sleep, with this tugging that I was prolly correct.

Woke up 1 hour later, walked into the kitchen to ask if there was food. "TauSarPiah only." And my heart sank, my suspicions were right. Honestly, if not for the fact that my brother's girlfriend was around, I'd have asked her how many children she has, seriously. What, I'm sleeping so I don't need food? And in the first place, I wasn't even sleeping when they left. Or maybe she didn't even bother looking into my room to see what I was doing.

On a previous occasion, she knew I wasn't going out. Bought dinner back, and just coincidentally, I headed over to Nex to buy things when they returned. Thinking that I'd gone out, she ate my share. Okay, maybe that's more reasonable.
Today? Explain yourself, woman.

I honestly have no idea. Am I non-existent in your eyes? Am I merely someone for you to shout at, someone for you to nag at all day long? Do you even know that you gave birth to a daughter 19 years ago? Or do you only rmb giving birth to a son 23 years ago?

So that leaves me without dinner. Again. What's new, really?


It's been so long, and each time something like this happens, it really hurts. Almost every time, I tell myself that things will get better. But it never does.
Maybe I should start getting used to this.

And, thanks for the love people. Yes, I will eat something before I sleep. Something besides the tauhuay I ate with WanRu just now.

It's gonna be a long long night. At least I'm almost done with my assignments. Contemplating heading out tmr morning to study for Tuesday's SOC test before school. We'll see.

 In order of age, month of birth, height and skin colour.


nom-nom! :)

I'd gladly admit that I'm not a morning person. So please, please, please do not piss me off after I wake up. I'll get highly irritable and refuse to do what you want me to. Esp when I'm in the midst of doing something and you have to jeopardize my timeline. Maybe, if you tell me nicely I'll be okay. If you barge in and just want to do your things, sorry you'll have to endure my attitude.

Right now, I'm supposed to get ready and head out to study with the girls. But I can't. Why?
My mum's mopping the floor. I can't even pack my things.

Now you know the reason for my angst.

Days with the ODACians never fail to put a smile on my face.
Din Tai Fung-ed and Sogurt-ed at Nex!
And I survived dinner sitting beside someone who was totally nonsensical the whole time. I really wonder where he gets all his rubbish from, seriously.

On a sidenote, the influx of UOL students ain't exaggerated. It's really overwhelming. Tasted it at the bus stop in the morning, got quite shocked. Things got worse at 11:30am after their first lecture ended. Seriously, the corridors and all were literally jam-packed. Why can't SIM extend their campus or smth?

Oh, toe nail update; the old nail on my left leg's fourth toenail's really on the verge of detaching itself from the new one. Yay much :)

Okay time to sleep, I only slept for 3 hours yst, and I'm really tired now. Doesn't help that I've a gazillion things due on Monday/Tuesday. Sigh.

Really, managing a Whatsapp conversation and a MSN conversation simultaneously ain't easy.

Goodnight.

superduperultramegahappygirl92 today!

For a gazillion reasons, one of which cannot be said. I literally jumped when it happened, omg. Totally made my day teehee.

Math drove me nuts though, and Gwend, I don't know what I'd have done without you. Thanks for patiently explaining the questions to me!

Nothing has changed. In JC, Functions & Graphs and I never co-existed harmoniously. Its the same now.
Oddly, it felt as though I was taking the A Levels tmr. When its only a quiz. Not even the mid-terms -.-" Maybe its a good thing?

Ended up not swimming >:(
Stupid Math.

Oh I saw Charmaine too! :D
Talking to Desiree just now perked my spirits too. If you're reading this, thank you ♥

Looking forward to dinner plans tmr! ^^

I keep saying I'll go swimming/running but it never gets done. On days that I plan to do the former, I'm always too drained to go. The latter.. I was supposed to go with WanRu that day. She said maybe. And I went to shower, during which she Whatsapp-ed me, FB chat-ed me, MSN-ed me, Twitter-ed me, wrote on my FB wall, texted me and wondered what on Earth happened to me cause I was 'online' but I wasn't replying her at all.

Shall get the former done tmr! Wanted to do it before studying but.. I don't wanna get any tan lines, so will prolly do it after. Provided Math doesn't kill all my energy, that is. I haven't really gone under the Sun since I started school and weirdly enough, I told me during MUS 113 last Wed that I'm darker. And question marks started forming in my head.

Is it just me, or is there really a lot to be done for next week? :/
I really hope I can get things done tmr. One reason why I should NOT stay home cause I know that my bed will steal all the attention away from my assignments.

Feeling oddly energetic now, shall attempt to finish my essay outline before hitting the sack.

Finally removed my nail polish on my toes after idk how long and guess what. My toe nail cracked. Both fourth toes. Powerpacked or powerpacked? My left toe's on the verge of recovering; there're 2 layers now. Right toe.. It's only partially cracked.

Happy day today in spite of the rain! Lunch-ed with the OGL! :D
I don't even see her around school, apart from the OG lunches she organized. Although I see her very often on Twitter/Whatsapp. Avenue to bitch/rant/talk about anything haha.
SAW THE EYE-CANDY TODAY TOO! :D :D :D :D

Met WanRu after school for window shopping at City Plaza, NEX-ed thereafter to stock up on snack supplies.
Back home, my new UOB credit card arrived in the mail! (Y)
Not new as in new sign-up, new cause smartgirl92 screwed up the NETS FlashPay function on her original card and as a result, she had no ez-link card. So they had to send me a new card. I know I'm a genius.

Mid-terms are coming soon, sigh. It's hard getting back the study momentum.
For the past 9 months, its been a total hiatus from educational material.
Even if I go to work, I relax every night. Now? School in the day, study at night.

Anw, it's week 4 of school, and everyday as I stand in front of my wardrobe to decide what to wear, I'm thankful that I'm dressing up for school and not work. It's a hell lot easier. Those who've worked in offices will uds the pain of having to don an office-attire for 4 days a week.
The flexibility of school's awesome, really. I can dress up on days I feel like it, and be superduperultramega casual when I feel lazy.

Okay I know this has been very random, congrats to those who managed to follow my train of thought.

Now, back to my assignments.

I don't know why things ended up like this.
I don't know why I'm always proven wrong. By myself.
Things I thought I'd hold dear to my heart eternally have turned into things I can easily let go of without second thoughts.

Dear diary, care to enlighten me?
Why has my heart hardened to such as extent?
It scares me sometimes to realize what I've become after going through all these.

For better or for worse?
I don't know.

It's a viscous sleep deficit issue.

Let's hope I can reverse and halt this entire screw-up. It ain't doing me good.

This is one of the cons of having only one morning lesson per week.

G'night boys and girls. :)

In all honesty, it's really a waste. Was looking through Facebook and I couldn't help thinking that you'd have missed out on a lot. Okay I'm not sure if it's really true or not; but if it is, there's some sort of pity for you from me.

Ah, not judging anyway, but is it like some sort of a trend?

Really; what's the world becoming?

Girl time today! :D

Dinner-ed at Lau Pa Sat, where Gwend and I were hungry monsters. Okay, more of me, I admit. I was so hungry that I kept telling Gwend and WanRu what I felt like eating otw there :D

Sparklers time thereafter! And I burnt my hand ):
Had fun nonetheless!

Macs-ed for ice cream to satisfy yet another of my cravings! We were sitting there and suddenly we saw Mrs Tan's check-in at Harry's @ Boat Quay. And we decided to go say hi. Random I know. She got a shock when she saw us hahahaha.

Met Adeline at the bus stop otw home too! (:

Bella, Natalie and Gwend, thanks for today! <3
We were supposed to study tgt initially haha. First, Gwend said she had cramps. Then Natalie said she was very tired after Tennis. I was about to step out of the house when the sky cried. In the end, Bella studied alone ahahaha. We felt so bad afterwards.

We should have more cheap-thrill outings like these :D
 

Had a freaking horrible dream last night. Now I know why I'm still so tired despite 10 hours of sleep.

Well.. Maybe its more of disturbing. Reminded me of how I totally screwed up my A Levels. Not something I want to be reminded of, much less have a dream about.
Up till now.. Let's just say I wish those screw ups never took place. Yes, I'm still disappointed with myself for not performing up to expectations but at the end of the day, I know better than to cry over split milk. Yes, I want to be in NUS but since I'm not there, I'll just make the most of what I have now. After all, grades ain't the only deciding factor in society.
Imagination, Character and Values; the elements that'll ultimately determine your success out in society.

Anyway, I miss SR terribly.
And life sucks. When W is free, L is busy. When L is free, W is busy. When they've figured out a period when both W and L are free, I'M BUSY. What's this you tell me? Had a dream that day that W told be a common window would be in February 2012. Which is freaking far away.

Week 3 of school has just ended and weirdly enough, I no longer feel like a kid in school. I guess it's just because I've been hanging out with people who're older than me for so long that I no longer feel out of place.
J2 EXCO back in early 2009, YAs in church, colleagues at StarHub & MediaCorp and the ODAC clique now.
Oh plus my brother's age.

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."
Pretty much summed up by superduperultramega unfortunate morning.

Right now, I'm drained. I think it's prolly due to my sleep deficit that has yet to be cleared.

Have I mentioned how much i hate process essays? Doesn't help that I have to double my word count. And it wasn't easy coming up with the original word count. Cause its a freaking process essay.
Urgh.

Goodnight, don't let the bedbugs bite.
Process essay, see you tmr.

And I know, it's all His work. Thank you daddy God :)

Eventful weekend! :D

Was kinda late for class on Friday though, haha I overslept. But I realized that I only need 45 mins to reach school. 45 minutes including a slow stroll to the train station from my house, slow stroll to the bus stop after alighting from the train, and a 8 minute wait for the bus.

Umoja House Chalet at night! Last minute consent to stay over, and I was literally unprepared cause daddy only replied me when I was alrdy otw.
Glad I did though. Drank quite a fair bit, esp when my OG was trying out the different combinations. Epic expressions.
Its nice to sit by the beach and enjoy the sea breeze, esp after minight. There's just this cooling and serene effect. Walked out with my OGL for HTHT and the breeze kinda cleared our light-headedness.
Learnt some shocking things, and all I can say is that looks can be truly deceiving. Would still say it's kinda wasted though. But at least they're open about it.

"I Never" is really a game that we can never grow tired of. Things can get damn hilarious I tell you. Esp when its 2-ish 3-ish.

Jeremy: I never watched porn before. *drinks*
Some people: tsk.
Jeremy: What! Shakespeare In Love!
Me: eh then like that isn't M18 considered porn also?
Jeremy: Yar. Just drink lah.

Wts like retarded only, afterwards he claimed he's damn clean. I believe luh.

Walked to Macs for breakfast around 4-ish, and I was kinda too tired to eat much. Breakfast Supreme Deluxe is nice when its shared btw 2 people. And WanRu happened to be at Macs too! She reached after I left though. Saw my tweet about breakfast and she asked if I was at Macs. Twitter, Whatsapp, text. All within 2 mins. Like kiasu only haha.
Got a ride back home from YaoXian! I kinda felt bad cause I was the only one in that part of Singapore. The rest were near ECP and the Woodlands/CCK part of Singapore. Thanks alot Grouchy! And he's a scary driver ahahaha.


And it was really record time. I reached home around 6:30am and before 7am, I was already in bed after showering. Whatsapp the ODACians to pre-empt them that I'll be late for K session ahaha. I knew there was no way I could sleep for only 3-4 hours and reach TeoHeng at 12nn. WanRu wanted to be on time, said she'd call me when she wakes up.
11:30am- Call received. "just woke up uh?" 'yeah.' "you wanna sleep somemore? Wake up alrdy call me. MUST wake up uh!"
12:10pm- Calls her twice. "I went back to sleep hahaha"

Yay for people like NianDeng who drives. He overslept, and said he could give the both of us a lift. He woke up after us somemore. Pfft. Texted to say we'll meet him at the bus stop near WanRu's house, he ended up across the road where my house was haha. Pretty much uneventful K session, or was it cause I was feeling tired. Saw the snail though! :D
Initially I saw JunGuang and after 2 seconds Nelson appeared. :)
Tze Char-ed before driving to PP for ice cream! We were wondering what to do afterwards since there was no seats for us to finish our ice cream.

Nadia: Wanna walk to ECP and back?
Me: Don't mind!
NianDeng: MIGHT AS WELL SIT IN MY CAR RIGHT!

We totally cracked up at that hahahaha.

Drove to ECP after finishing our ice-cream, partly cause there wasn't much to do and it was kinda too early to return home. Glad I was in my lazy mood when I woke up in the afternoon, cause I was in slippers; the best footwear for the beach. Unlike people like NianDeng who wore covered shoes plus socks haha. Had some sand fight before (finally) sitting down on the sand. Slight drizzle but we didn't care, its really nice to sit by the beach and enjoy the sea breeze. Something one can never get tired of. It's just so relaxing. HTHT-ed, and I guess its really true that no matter how tight a group appears, there'll always be mini cliques within the clique. And yes, we might appear happy on the outside but we might have inner conflicts here and there.
I don't know how many times I've said this but I'm really glad I have these group of friends whom I can relate to, even though I'm the youngest amongst them. Oh and haha while singing, ChunWei started talking about how old he's gonna be and he started scolding me cause I was still so young. But really, time flies; some of them're celebrating their 21st at the end of the year. Next year, I'll be hitting the 20s. Urgh. Came to a stark realization that I'll be turning 20 a month after YuanLin/ChunWei turn 21. Partly cause I'm a Jan baby while they're December kids, but that'll mean I'm old. (okay I didn't wanna admit it but yeah.) Sad truth huh? Sigh.

Otw back, NianDeng was being super annoying and he started shaking the car like mad; us 3 VPs in the backseat were laughing like maaaaad. Know what's the best part? He can't feel anything at all. So he didn't even know the magnitude of the shaking hahaha. It was like K round 2 in the car too; we were all uber hyper and nonsensical.
Ona and WanRu were talking about how nice it is when dreams are fulfilled, esp when you ain't sure if your eyes are playing tricks on you when you awake each morning. Told them about Nelson's text the other day.
While snoozing the alarm on my phone one morning, I saw that I had a text from 'NELSON THE SNAIL (='. Tbh, I was wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. After I was positive I was awake, I opened the text. Rough gist:

Nelson: haven't seen you for a while, hope you're doing fine!
Me: yupp! What's with the random-ness though?
Nelson: well, i had a disturbing dream and you were in it.
Me: what happened?
Nelson: I dreamt you died in a car accident and Miss Liu was weeping.

There was a stunned silence after I mentioned this. After a while,

WaiKit: Eh NianDeng, drive safely uhh. Car accident leh. 

Salvageable. But how do I go about doing it?

Just realized that in situations like these you won't do anything if you don't think you're in the wrong. So if I don't do anything, things'll prolly remain status quo.

And all those around me know how impt you are to me. Or at least were.

Hair's dry, I need my bed. Goodnight everyone.

OFF DAYS ARE ALWAYS FREAKING AWESOME.


Visited the Charles and Keith warehouse sale today, but sad much, they had a lot of what we didn't want but few of what we wanted. And all I wanted, no size. Sucks or what?

Idk why, I only crave for KOI when I'm with Charmaine. Other times, I only want my beloved Gong Cha. Stopped over at Bishan, got our KOI and we headed to H&M! Love their refund policy! And the place is MAD CROWDED, even on a weekday afternoon. Where do all the people come from, seriously.
Walked around a little before meeting DianXiang for dinner!
OH AND I SAW EUNICE AT H&M. Bet she's gonna say something about it on Sunday HAHAHAHAHA.

Back at home, my OG's Whatsapp conversation was seriously freaking epic. Thank goodness I was at home. Else I'd look like a complete retard trying to contain my laughter. It totally distracted me from my notes though. Good thing I was done with my readings before the epic-ness started.

Looking forward to chalet tmr! Although I have no idea if I'm staying over. Suckszx.
Before that, 8:30am class, SIGH. At least its Sociology :)

Shall attempt revising my notes before bed. Cause truth be told, I'm buzzing with energy now.

Felt guilty for using the computer after coming home from school, so I decided to revise my lecture notes. Midway, my dad came home, and so did my MacBook Pro.

[random picture from some time back!]